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fatherhood

weekend recap

Jul 27th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
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Sometimes I have to go back and read my last entry just to remember where I left off. I have more to say than I have time to write. That’s probably for the best.

Friday

So, as I mentioned last time, Friday was filled with swimming at the lake, Fireworks, and good friends.

cousins

Saturday

Saturday morning we went to the McKinney Farmer’s Market. We had so much fun eating blue berries looking at beautiful produce and walking under the trees. I really like McKinney in general. Maybe I should move there?

Celeste passed out on the way home, which I hadn’t intended to happen until we were on the way to my dad’s. I got her out of the car, put her in bed, did some chores, packed some bags, put her back in the car, and got her 10 minutes away from my dad’s house before she woke up. I must have taken my Daddy-Power pill that morning. Either that or the LuckyLayla‘s Drinkable Strawberry Yogurt C and I shared at the farmer’s market was responsible.

We got to my dad’s and did the birthday thing: mine, my mom’s, and my brother-in-law’s. Birthdays are way different as you get older. Presence becomes far more important than presents, which is as it should be, I think.

the end of the tunnel

After birthday fun, C and I met some friends at Central Market for live music, a way-too-big-for-Celeste playground, and dinner. I let C climb one thing that was just too big for her. She sees all the other kids doing it and she wants to do it too. She did surprisingly well. If it wasn’t for the fact that she just didn’t want to finish and tried to come down the thing backwards, I don’t think I would have had to help her at all.

After dinner, we went over to play with our friends until well after 10 o’clock. Then back to my mom’s house for sleep.

Sunday

I got up before Celeste, played with an Eye-Fi Card (cool product which could be SO much better if they’d hire some decent programmers. more later?), and tried to fight off a headache. Once Celeste got up, we went to the park, went for a nice walk, played on the playground, and had some oranges for a snack. My nieces and my nephew came with us. It was HOT, but, we still need some outside time. A few hours later we went back to my dad’s for a nap.

interesting light

My Dad, who really should open a restaurant, made some awesome slow cooked pork fajitas, then I helped my brother get his iPhone working on T-Mobile (more later?)

For dinner, we met some friends at Cafe Express in Southlake, but not before Celeste and I played for a bit on the big hill just across the street. After dinner we went to the Fritz Park Petting Zoo with our friends. We got rained out and a lot of the animals were not available, most likely due to the coming rain, but we had a great time anyway. It’s awesome how kids can make the most fun out of something so simple. In this case, it was a set of red stairs and a red painted deck. I forgot my real camera at my dad’s, and it was a bit too dark to get anything good with the point and shoot. But I tried.

a blurry TADA!

Driving home took a while as we got stuck in a huge downpour. It’s good though, we need the rain. Hopefully, today will have a bit cooler temperatures thanks to it. Once we got home, C and I fed the cats, watered the plants, went for a walk, took a bath, and went to bed.

Today

I’m going to call C’s doctor this morning and see if I can move her 18 month checkup from tomorrow to today. She’s got a bad cough and some kids at her school have had bronchitis, one of which developed into pneumonia. Other than that, C is in daycare, I have to work, and at some point this afternoon I need to get cat food. We haven’t gone swimming in a while, maybe that’ll be tonight’s plan.

little pieces

Jul 25th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
2 comments

You might be surprised at how many times I’ve sat down to write as I am now, and the first things I’ve typed have said something to indicate that I had no idea what I was going to write and I hoped that, in the end, it was at least a little interesting for you, and a little helpful for me. Often, by the end, there is a clear point and I delete those words. Maybe I will today too.

hopeful

hopeful

A Dream and a Kiss

My dreams have never been at all similar to the types of dreams I hear most people talk about. For instance, until fairly recently, I’d never had a dream about any kind of sexual activity. Nudity, sure, but that’s it. When it finally did happen, it was mostly awkward in my dream and left me laughing about it when I woke.

Last night I dreamt about a kiss. Not only was it an unexpected dream, but the kiss itself was unexpected in the dream, lasted all of 3 seconds, and was quite wonderful. I’m not sure what that says about me or how I’m supposed to interpret it. Maybe I really don’t care. It was a nice dream. In true form for me, the other participant was not anyone that I currently have romantic interest in. Not that I wouldn’t or won’t in the future. It’s just the way things work. And I use the words “romantic interest” very loosely. I am, after all, a recently separated, single father with a stressful job who lives far away from everyone he knows.

A Lake and Fireworks

I spent last night at the lake with good friends, swimming and watching fireworks. I’ve brought Celeste swimming quite a bit this summer and she’s taken to the water like a fish. With so many boats in the lake, this was her first time to experience waves of any kind. Though they were small, some were at least half her height and definitely capable of overpowering her. She did well though. The first few knocked her underwater. She’s known how to hold her breath for quite a while, so that wasn’t a problem. She’d wait for me to scoop her up and then try again. Eventually, she let go of some of her independence when she realized she’d have a lot more fun in the “deep” water if she held on to something like my leg. If I wasn’t walking fast enough for her she’d say “Dada! Move!”. I’d ask her which way and she’d point out toward the middle of the lake. And that’s one reason among millions why she brings so much light into my life.

My clothes were still wet when I got home.

admiration

admiration

My Time and a Break

A good friend recently asked me, in regard to parenthood, “But, don’t you ever enjoy a break?” This is my response to her, with some editing and more added in.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy a break. But, when I get one, more often than not, I just find myself wishing Celeste was there. Especially after more than a few hours. More than anything it’d be nice to be able to “tag out” every now and then when I get frustrated or overwhelmed. That way I can calm down in my own space without having to do it in front of Celeste. But, that’s not a choice I have so I’m doing the best that I can.

I think if I had a partner — like a real partner, with two-way communication and sharing of duties, though not necessarily a wife or even a female — I’d have the best of both worlds. Then I could ask for a morning every now and then to myself and go find a sunrise and not have to worry about taking Celeste with me. Or I could stay up late and drink here and there not worry about having to be up in the morning with the kiddo.

Then again, when I do have time away from her (which is far too often) I rarely, if ever, spend it out drinking. And, though I’m not sure her young mind can possibly appreciate it in the same way I do, one of the things I look forward to most is being able to show my daughter a waterside sunrise one day.

I do have plenty of Daniel Time, despite my packed schedule and constant lists of chores. But, if I get to choose how to spend my Daniel time, it’ll probably be surrounded by my friends and their kids and, ideally, my kid too.

Parenting and Friends

I don’t think parenthood is something everyone should engage in. In these times, being a parent is not a requirement for our race to thrive. And there are enough distractions in life to make a childless life VERY rewarding. I don’t judge anyone who chooses not to have children and I appreciate all of those who choose to spend time with mine. But I do believe that almost everyone is capable of being a good parent if they can let go of time tables and silly schedules and just trust themselves.

And I think that parenting is always done best surrounded by as many people as possible. Yesterday was amazing: 6 kids, 5 adults, and everyone naturally looking out for everyone else. We all watched out for eachother’s kids and, even with sharp cliffs nearby in the almost pitch black, we could all rest assured that turning our eyes away from our children was an okay thing to do, because there were so many others watching out for them.

all days like this

Jul 23rd, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
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I’ve slowly been intentionally revaluating my needs and desires, changing my expectations, and altering how I operate in order to find a way to live in greater harmony with the wants, desires, needs, and focuses of a young child as a single parent.

Celeste helps pot a plant

Celeste helps pot a plant

My practice (nor my theory) is anywhere close to perfect. But really, I don’t think the concept of perfect even applies here (or to most things, for that matter, but that that’s a tangent). However, every now and then everything just falls into place. And, thankfully, this is happening more and more often lately, despite the fact that my daughter is progressing deeper and deeper into what most people claim to be one of the least agreeable stages of childhood.

Yesterday, after picking my daughter up from daycare, we did the following:

  • Went shopping at a hardware store (one her least favorite places to shop because of my hesitation to let her explore with so many dangerous things around)
  • Planted 8 new plants outside
  • Repotted Henri (a basil plant I got for father’s day from Celeste (and Jess))
  • Pulled weeds
  • Took a shower
  • Made and ate dinner
  • Cleaned the kitchen
  • Did two loads of Laundry
  • Sweeped the living room, dining room, kitchen, and entry way
  • Cleaned her playroom
  • Went out for Ice Cream
  • Went to bed at a “reasonable” hour (reasonable for our lifestyle is any time before 9pm)
  • Went to sleep without argument

Of course all of this was done in between singing songs, drawing pictures, toddler dance parties, playing chase on the front sidewalk, digging in the dirt for fun, spraying eachother with the water hose, changing diapers, wiping noses, and the other usual things. And, since there’s no one here but her and I, it means all of this was done together or in close proximity. More interesting is that it was done all with only one small protest from her once that was quickly dodged.

I’m quite proud.

It was shockingly simple, really, and involved little more than throwing away any preprogrammed notions I have of what should or shouldn’t be and just following my instinct with little concern for anything outside of right now.

It encourages me not only to continue down this path with her, but to consider treating other aspects of my life in this same manner.

The best way to sum up the lesson I’ve learned is this:

Simply allow life to be great without demand for how or why. You will find more peace and happiness more often this way.

Vacation, Day VII

Jul 19th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
4 comments

I decided to extend my vacation through until Sunday and, in that, include Celeste as much as I could for the last few days. We got up bright and early Friday morning, did our usual good morning, potty, breakfast routine. Then we got ourselves ready and piled into the car.

Celeste in sunglasses

Celeste in sunglasses

Our first stop was for coffee and a little bit of walking at the Shops at Legacy. Celeste was very good about waiting for me at street crossings and really liked peeking in all of the windows and pointing out all the things she liked.

Next, we headed to the Dallas World Aquarium. Celeste saw so many animals and birds. I’m not sure how much of it she absorbed because there is so much to look at. I know for sure that she remembers the Aligator, the sharks, the “pink birds” (flamingos), and the Jaguar, which she continued to taunt by saying “KITTY!!! EAT!!!!”. Celeste got a little cranky toward the end as it was past her nap time.

Celeste Ponders a Jaguar

Celeste Ponders a Jaguar

Next, we stopped for a quick lunch at Cafe Express. Toward the end of our meal, a girl approached us and asked me if I’d like our photo taken together. No… not my photo with the girl, my photo with Celeste. At least that’s what I assume she meant. Maybe she did mean herself? Maybe she was someone famous? At any rate, I declined her offer, but I really have no idea why.

In new, awkward, or undefined social situations I tend to get very nervous. This presents itself by keeping me from thinking clearly and causing me to say and do things I don’t mean because I think that’s what’s expected or wanted. In this case, I’m not entirely sure why, but I declined her offer because I thought it made me seem “new” at this or as though I didn’t have many opportunities. I guess I thought that she thought that I was one of those dads who only gets to see his kids every so often due to divorce/separation. Or maybe she thought I was married but that I rarely take care of the kid on my own.

Celeste and her Shells and Cheese

Celeste and her Shells and Cheese

In order to prevent her from thinking such things I declined her offer. But I should have taken it. I would have loved a photo of Celeste and I together and taking them myself with the old “hold out your own arm” trick is never as good as someone else doing it. I’m so silly sometimes. I do silly stuff like that a lot and then regret it later. I did this the night of Day VIII too, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Next we went home for a nap, then some quick shopping at Costco, and then off to Bonnie and Justin’s house to play with their new puppies, slam our hands on arcade machine buttons, and eat some very good steak (as well as handfuls of olives and edamame for Celeste).

Finer Points

Jul 9th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
6 comments

I don’t dare to say that anyone’s life is perfect. Despite outward appearances, we all have hardships and difficulties. It’s these very things that make the sweeter things sweet. However, Erin (of BlueBirdBaby) and her life continue to inspire me as an artist, a parent, a lover of nature, and a member of the human race.

Recently, she’s begun to share the words of Sasa, a significant person in her life and the life of her daughter, on her site as well. I take the following words from him posted on my birthday and share them with you:

It is amazing to me how quickly things can change. How sun follows storm, how clouds follow clarity, how time follows eternity. And yet there is something always there, aware and present to notice every thing. From the simple joy of seeing the moon again for the first time, to the frenzy of fireworks filling the sky, it is all there for us.

We are such cyclical creatures. It’s not a curse or a blessing, it’s simply what we are. We have been indelibly shaped by our tides, our planet, its rotation, and its orbit around the closest star, our sun. Under the gentle hand of our creator, these little pushes and pulls in all different and unseen directions have led us here, shaped the moutains and the sea, created night and day, and gave birth to four generous seasons. We are creatures dependant on our planet’s rotation; Dependant on its orbit around the sun for our very survial; Dependant on these cycles.

I wish to live my life in concert with what created me, not in direct opposition to it. I wish to blur the lines between which parts of the world are me and which parts are not. I wish to welcome each season against my skin instead of shutting it outside, closing all the doors, and blasting the air conditioning or stoking the furnace to force out what sneaks in the cracks.

I will find peace in a handful of sand. I will feel comfort in the mud between my toes. I will be refreshed by a heavy summer rain. I will be lulled to sleep by the gentle tug of the moon. And I wish for my daughter to find these same things and more in the world from which she was born.

It matters not if my she is wealthy or famous. It matters not if she is the biggest, the brightest, or the best. For her I only want peace. Peace found within ourselves aided only by the map that our creator has drawn time and time again all around us. And from this peace great love, happiness, and communion with others will spring forth. And the finer points of what it means to live here and now will be evident. I wish that my daughter would find naturally what has taken me thirty-one years to look for in all the wrong places. And I intend to be sure she has every tool she needds to find it. And in this great design, those tools are all free of charge.

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, for life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

-Kahlil Gibran

I’m older than I’ve ever been

Jul 8th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
8 comments

Today is my birthday.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. I have for the 31st time in my life successfully circumnavigated the sun. Quite an accomplishment, I know. It wouldn’t have been possible without my mom, my dad, gravity, and inertia, all of whom I’d like to thank on this momentous occassion.

Ha.

In reality, there’s nothing more significant about today than there was yesterday or will be tomorrow. We could just as easily celebrate birth months, birth weeks, or births at 500 day intervals. In fact, I once threw myself a 10,000th day alive party, just because.

Really, life should be celebrated every single day and at every possible opportunity, because, despite being abundant here, it is so very precious.

But, there is a tradition in our society to celebrate a person on the day of their birth. And it is that tradition, not the actual event, that makes today special for me. The day is only 10 hours old and already so many friends and family have texted, called, emailed, and sent photographs wishing me a happy birthday. It is so very appreciated. Thank you all for helping to make this day special.

I spent my 30th birthday alone in Syracuse, NY. My wife and 7 month old daughter had left for Canada the day before to visit her parents and I was to follow 3 days later. I’d wanted so badly to spend the time together but it just didn’t happen. And even though, just like today, that particular day was not really any more important than any other day, the tradition placed on it made it feel more important. And the round number of “30″ made it seem more important too. Therefore, it made me feel very sad to not have those I loved dearest close to me then.

But this birthday will not be that way. Despite the fact that Celeste’s grandparents are in town for the next two weeks to visit her, I’m seeing her tonight. I don’t have anything planned, but spending time with my daughter will be more than enough. No matter how amazing my life was before her, with her in it, everything is bigger and better and more important than it ever was before.

So today, on my birthday, I am grateful for Jess and all the family and friends that have played a role in bringing her into this world and shaping her life and making her who she is. I can say, without a doubt, that Celeste has the best chosen family on the face of the planet.

Of course, as always, I welcome and appreciate spending time with people I care about. If you’re without plans this evening (or Thursday, or Friday), or have plans worth cancelling, and would like to join us to go swimming, go for a walk, have a nice dinner, watch a movie at home, have a beer or two, or just stand out on the front porch and talk as the sun sets, I’d love that. You know how to reach me.

The will of a child, part I

Jul 6th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
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Last night was terrible. Im laying here awake thinking of it partly because it was so bad, but also because it’s our last day together before my inlaws get here.

Despite a bad headache, a cranky girl, and a few other bad circumstances, we had a really good day until we got home. Then everything went wrong.

First there was the dinner thing. She wasn’t listening at all and almost got boiling water splashed on her. I tried the nice voice and the stern voice. I tried askin and I tried physically moving. No matter what she either threw a fit or didn’t listen. Then, when that didn’t work, she resorted to being intentionally hurtful. I would have never believed a 1.5 year old could be intentionally hurtful if I hadn’t been through it. More than once. On the same day. Which is what she did last night.

After dinner we went for a 1.5 hour walk because that’s what she wanted. We played and laughed and had fun. Except for the two times we stopped at the house to get water and/or use the bathroom. We were even playing “which house is ours” and she was so excited when she found it until she thought that meant we were going home. It didn’t. We were just walking past it. So then she changes her answer to a very angry NO, that it was definately not our house. When it was actually time to go in she cried and cried and cried. Thankfully, singing and laughing inside got her over that fairly quickly.

When it was finally bed time she wanted nothing of it. No songs. She didn’t want me to lay with her. She started getting more and more dificult. When I could think of no other options I set us up a little bed in front of the TV (which we rarely watch) to let her decide she was ready on her own. But she just got crankier and crankier. After almost 45 minutes of that I decided it was time to stop giving her a choice. Then she exploded. After dealing with that I told her that she could do whatever she wanted but that I was going to sleep. I laid down and she just threw herself on the ground and bumped her face on the night stand.

I picked her up and tried to tak to her. She resorted to being intentionally mean again. 30 minutes of laying around and talking and trying to change the subject and she finally decided she could stop being mean and that it was okay to go to sleep. It took over 1.5 hours to go from some form of very upset to sleeping.

And of course all of that is made worse by the fact that I got frustrated. I stopped being a source of calm and love and instead just cake off as upset and ocassionaly angry and yelling. Which does no one any good at all. And all of that was made worse still by this being out last nIght together before my inlaws get here. In the end I was crying and she was crying and it was just absolutely terrible.

And I feel horrible. I’d take the day off of work if it was an option. But it just isn’t for a few reasons.

At least I get to see her again on Wednesday.

Stay positive, or why Kaboom Town rocked

Jul 4th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
No comments yet

Yesterday evening started out terrible. I drove all the way home from Keller only to find out that I had the wrong date for the plans I was returning for. We wanted to see fireworks, there were 6 other people going including kids, and I’d ruined everything.

It took all my might to stay positive. Celeste sensed I was upset and started acting up which only made things much worse.

We scoured the Internet looking for other fireworks happening on Friday the 3rd. The only thing we could find was Kaboom Town which we knew would be packed with people, a traffic nightmare, and not nearly as family friendly as it pretends to be.

In the end our choices were either Kaboom Town or nothing at all. So we opted to go.

So I put my new philosophy into high gear: this was our choice, there are no other options, hate it or love it we’re going… So I may as well resolve to love it.

So I did.

And so did Celeste.

Yes there were too many people, food cost too much, it was not at all family friendly, and traffic was absolute chaos (though we did manage to make it home a lot faster than it took is to get there).

But so what. We had fun. Lots of fun. And hearing Celeste say “ooooooh! Booooooom!” after each explosion and get soooooo excited seeing the airplanes made all the other crap not even matter.

Kaboom Town was a success.

14 long days

Jul 2nd, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
6 comments

14 long days

My inlaws called Jess two days ago to give her final dates for their trip out here. Instead of 10 days they are staying 14. Instead of driving they are flying. Instead of coming at the end of July they are coming on July 6th. They will not be renting a car. They will not be getting a hotel. Surprise!

I had half a mind to not be accomating when it comes to Celeste’s time because that’s just ridiculous. But at the same time, I want them to be a part of Celeste’s life and I don’t know how much of the “Surprise” was them changing their mind last minute, and how much of it was Jess not seeking to get dates and times soon enough.

Regardless, they’ll be here for 14 days and I won’t be seeing Celeste for most of it.

Jess and I worked out a decent plan. I get a bunch of days before and after to make up for the time when they are here. I also get two evenings throughout their stay so that it’s not so long without so much as even seeing her. And finally, I’ve got preapproval to do something similar myself in the fall so I can take Celeste to New York and Vermont for 4 to 6 days.

It’s going to be a long, hard two weeks. Thankfully, I’m lining up distractions.

The 4th of July!

I’ve got Celeste with me for five days in a row. In these five days there are three days off of work. We have some plans but, for the most part, I’m just packing very full bags and playing it all by ear.

There are tentative plans to go to a Splash Park Friday morning. There are more tentative plans to see Fireworks in Addison or possibly Carrollton on Friday night. There are fairly solid plans to see fireworks in Grapevine on Saturday night. The rest is unknown. I’m sure there will be swimming and singing and playing and book reading and sidewalk chalk — always sidewalk chalk.

My Birthday!

My Birthday is July 8th and it’s one of the days I’ve worked out to have with Celeste. So that’s extra nice, especially since I spent my last birthday without her (or anyone, actually) when Jess took her to Canada. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m doing it but, really, as long as I have Celeste there I’m doing better than I ever have before. More than likely, whatever it is, you’re invited. I rarely turn down the opportunity for good company.

Home Improvement

I’m hoping to build a headboard and put down hard flooring upstairs which Celeste is away. I’m still seeking help and arrangements for getting the flooring done. The headboard I can do myself. If I can’t do the flooring, I’ll tackle a few organization projects instead. Company both welcome and greatly apprecaited.

SPOON!

Saturday, July 11th, myself and 9 other people will be traveling to the great city of Austin, TX is order to witness live musicians calling themselves “Spoon” perform on stage at Stubb’s.

Several of my favorite people will be there with me and this promises to epic.

The Gulf Coast

The day after Spoon, as everyone else heads back to DFW myself and two good friends will travel to the Texas Gulf Coast for four days. Yes, I’ve never been. I know that’s sad. Despite claims from some that it is nothing but a swampy shithole, I’m confident that the opportunties for photographic, culinary, social, mental, and personal stimulation will be plenty. Plus, we’ve got our very own Spirit Guide.

I’ve been in swampy shitholes before and came out smiling. The greatest competition toward enjoyment will come from the same three places they usually do no matter where I am: the humidity, the bugs, and my own mind.

I don’t have any details on where we’re going other than “that way”. I don’t know where I’m staying, where I’m eating, or which spots are on the list of “must-sees”. I’m, hopefully, working all of that out over the next few days.

The worst part

One of the only truly difficult parts about being separated from Jess is being without my daughter. When all of this finally started working itself into what it is today, I knew there would come a time where I would have to go without her for much longer than I care to. Now is that time.

It makes me sad that it has to be like this. It makes me sad that in the middle of it all there might be a sad, confused little girl who wants her Daddy and can’t figure out why no one will let her see him or — worse — why he’s not coming to see her like he always does. I hope and pray that she’s not old enough to feel that this time around and that when the next time comes she might be old enough to understand.

But still, tears stream down my face as I write these words and I can’t make them stop. Because I understand the hows and whys of it all, as much as it hurts to be away from her, I can get by. In the end, though I may be sad, I’ll be okay. But it breaks my heart over and over again to think of what she might go through.

My greatest hope is that the distraction provided by her grandparents will be enough to keep her from noticing too often and that they will plan some activities for her to keep her active and entertained as opposed to sitting around avoiding the nasty Texas heat as we are so often inclined to do.

Finally, I hope that if she really gets distressed that Jess and my inlaws will find it somewhere in themselves to invite me over for a few hours in order to show my little girl that her daddy isn’t gone forever.

10 long days

Jun 30th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
12 comments

At the end of this month my ex-inlaws are driving down from Canada to visit with Celeste and Jess. They are staying for 10 days and, of course, they want to see Celeste as much as possible which means, ideally, all 10 days. This is understandable and wonderful and all of those other good words. And I, of course, want them to be as big a part of Celeste’s life as possible. And I want Celeste to spend as much time with them as she can get.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, too. 10 days is such a long time.

I’m not officially on bad terms with them or anything. In fact, we converse as much now as we did when Jess and I were together. Maybe more. But I also didn’t catch even a hint of an invitation from Jess to come over for dinner one or twice throughout the 10 days.

On the one hand I know 10 days is going to be rough. Very rough. Because I’m just that way. I feel all the important feelings with intense amplification. So I’m inclined to distract myself as heavily as possible: ROAD TRIP. Or debauchery. But a Road Trip is more likely.

On the other hand, on the off chance that something should happen I’d like to be around. Not anything bad. I know she’s in good hands with Jess and even more so with her parents around. And my parents and many of my friends would be happy to step in if something should happen and assistance were needed. I’m not worried at all in that regard. But… if Celeste should ask for me I’d like to be reachable by phone. Or if Jess should decide to give me a night or invite me to dinner on whim, if I’m not around then I’ll feel guilty for not being there. Not because I should feel guilty but because that’s just how I am.

So I’m thinking, whatever I do, I’ll try to get it done in the first 4 to 6 days. That’ll leave me with 4 to 6 more days to recover, get some stuff done around the house, engage in debauchery, and be available just in case.

It looks like the Texas Gulf Coast is the destination of choice. That’s way exciting for me. Believe it or not, I’ve never been.

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