As if yesterday’s lunch wasn’t bad enough, today’s is twice as bad! When will the madness end?!

Next thing you know, she’ll be coating it peanut butter — Peter Pan 2111 to be specific. Didn’t you know? *Choosy Moms choose JIF*.

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Yes. But she made me give it back.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
This one… going on 4 years of marriage.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Last night from Nic and Em: A cool box with a clock in the top of it.

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Yes. But it dropped me first.

5. WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Last night… on your mom… biotch.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
House. Photography. Mistakes.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Roast beef sandwich with cheddar cheese, a pickle, and popcorn.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Hands… or boobs. Hands if they are covering her boobs. Otherwise, boobs… then hands.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
“Collide” by Howie Day.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Savannah. No… not in Georgia. Savannah, Texas. Boring, I know.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
* Bloomington High in Bloomington, CA, home of drive-by shooting.
* Followed by MacArthur High in Las Colinas, TX, where a bitch in my homeroom actually complained because her dad bought her a BMW instead of a Mercedes.
* Followed by Keller High School in Keller, TX where I learned all about the benefits of Methamphetamine.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
T-Mobile. Is anyone actually interested in this information?

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
This would assume I actually like any store in the mall enough to consider it a favorite. But, the jokes on you. Because Whole Earth Provisioning Company is in a “strip mall”, so I pick that.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
This one. 10 looooooooong years.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
No. I didn’t know the Garden of Eden was for sale.

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
Only people I know.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Sarah and Sheridan’s in July

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU’D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Jess, then my Dad.

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Hmmm. I’m not sure how to answer this. I don’t really think I have a best friend. But I’ve known Toby the longest. In which case, about 15 minutes ago when he picked his head up from his food bowl and looked into my office.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Wendy’s. Square burgers RULE.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
“I AM being honest with you.”

23. WHERE’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
At my house or a friend’s house.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Quite well.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
2001 Nissan Frontier 4×4.

26. BEST KISSER:
Um. Hmmm. There was a bum under a bridge in Dallas once, but I don’t think those were her teeth.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
yesterday

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Fish, unless it’s raw.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My six pack abs and my imagination.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My body. My temper. My low-self esttem. Maybe I should just stop now.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
15ish hours making T-Shirts.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
My Girl. Yes, really. Shut up.

34. CAN YOU SING?
Probably not. But that doesn’t stop me.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Barenaked Ladies / Mike Doughty in November

36. LAST KISS?
This morning.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED
I don’t know. But I saw “Stranger than Fiction” at the movie theater the other day. It was good.

38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
My Camera.

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT:
Anywhere outside, perferrably in the mountains, with a dew point under 60 degrees.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Desktop. Laptops are annoying.

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
My brother tells the BEST black jokes.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
Only when I’m doing it too fast.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
Depends on who else is in the house.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
Two Truths and a Lie: Jess, Your Mom, Mena Suvari

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
I’m living proof. My parents met on the Internet.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Um… way more times that I can count.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
French toast. Totally.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Like isn’t strong enough. I NEED Coffee.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I scramble them!

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
I believe in the power of belief.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Some jackass at work. Outside of work, Jess.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
My Sister. But I missed it on purpose. I was calling her from a land line. Before that, my boss on 12/14.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
“old.gentlenews.com. We have it til jan 1.”

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
1 under my head and one between my legs.

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Button fly jeans, a white undershirt, and a blue Mr. Jim’s pizza T-Shirt.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
“Jesus Christ has a pretty face,
the kind you’d find on someone that could save.
If they don’t put me away, well it’ll be a miracle.”

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
Raspberry. Totally.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
Not well. But yes, I can play. I like 9-ball.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
Not well. I was, however, on the swim team for like 2 weeks.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Phish Food.

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
I love maps.

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I love maps.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Attend one? Hell, I’ve hosted plenty.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON
Fall or Garlic, depending.

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
Nearly every day.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?
6:30ish.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?
Tolerable temperatures.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?
Last weekend. 31 in a 20. Asshole.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
If I tell you this then you’ll know my super secret security question to like every banking website ever. Is this some kind of scam? I’m reporting you!

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
Ninjas are totally cooler.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Shopping. And then Christmas.

78. BIRTHDATE
July 8th, 1978.

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
A door mat. Oh wait.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
No, thank you.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
Under my clothes I am.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Yeah. Don’t you wish you’d asked who?

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Peru.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
Yes. I just can’t seem to master health. I think I’ll have it this year. If I can just remember that the GIRLS have the BABIES.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
Totally. Wanna know who?

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
For what? Me? Daniel is good.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
The same color as my skin.

96. ONE PIECE OR TWO PIECE?:
zero?

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
Yeah. To Austin.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
My and the boys used to cruise with our AKs all the time, yo.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER
Yes. She’s getting married in less than 2 weeks.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
Nope.

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?
Yes.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Yes. Several times. Only once for me.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Yes. Now, don’t you wish you’d asked a more specific question? You aren’t very good at this.

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
My Wedding Band.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Go take some photographs.

Follow this closely. Peyton Strickland, along with two of his friends, allegedly beat a college student and took the two PlayStation 3 gaming consoles he had just purchased and then fled to Peyton’s house. Police raided the house with a battering ram and weapons drawn. Christopher Long, a sheriff’s deputy, opened fire during the raid “killing the unarmed teenager”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/04/teen.shot.ap/index.html and his dog. Long, the police office, was fired from the department and Strickland’s family filed charges against him for the murder of their son. The murder charge was dismissed. However, the jury foreman came forward yesterday and indicated to the court that the dismissal was unintended due to an error he made when filling out the indictment form. Apparently, “he checked ‘yes’ when he meant to check ‘no’”. Um, Mr Foreman… I think I see your chads hanging.

More on the James Kim story: Authorities have confirmed that the road on which they were travelling should not have been open in the first place. The metal gate usually restricting passage on this road “had it’s lock cut by Vandals”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/08/missing.family.ap/index.html. In even more news, a mapping error has been corrected and it is now evident that James Kim did not walk 10 miles as originally stated, but instead “walked 16 miles”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/11/missing.family.ap/index.html before dying of exposure.

If you thought finding your friends in little Georgia towns like “Dewy Rose”, “Experiment”, “Retreat”, “Wooster” and “Chattoogaville” or any of 488 other communities was hard, it’s even harder now that “they’ve been removed from the official map”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/08/map.deletions.ap/index.html. If I lived in one of these towns, I think I’d remake our local maps of Georgia to not include Atlanta. It’ll be awfully hard to send in those State Income taxes with only a non-existent city to send them to.

According to Merriam-Webster, the “word of the year for 2006 is Truthiness”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/12/09/word.year.ap/index.html. Stephen Colbert, inventor of the word, commented stating “Though I’m no fan of reference books and their fact-based agendas, I am a fan of anyone who chooses to honor me”.

An confused, excommunicated Roman Catholic archbishop is “calling celibacy outdated”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/10/archbishop.marriage.ap/index.html as he installs married priests as bishops. I’ve never believed that celibacy was effective at ensuring the attention and commitment of the followers of any religion. And reform is a good thing. However, this seems to be a bit like one congressman single-handedly starting socialism within the United States: it just isn’t going to happen. When your beliefs differ this greatly from what is “common” or “accepted”, and most people either disagree with you or don’t feel your cause is worth fighting for, you’re better of finding a new group to join.

What an amazing man!

I’m sure, in the same situation — lost in treacherous, snow covered mountains and out of gas — there are many people that would walk down the road a bit to see how close help might be or what lingered just around the corner. But, dressed as he was, most of us would run back to the car shivering and begging for warmth. James Kim knew how cold it was outside: he’d been in and out of the car for 9 days. But he decided that the best thing to do for his family would be to seek help, despite the pain of the cold and the long arduous walk ahead of him. Few people would make that sacrifice. Most of those who did would turn back after a mile, at most, heading back to the warmth. But James Kim continued on for 10 miles (“see the path he took”:http://www.layoutscene.com/james-kim-path/index.html) before he could physically go on no more. James Kim is a true hero.

“E. Coli outbreak thanks to Taco Bell Green Onions”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/12/07/e.coli.outbreak/index.html

84 have been sickened by the outbreak so far. Is it just me or is there a whole lot of E. Coli going around lately? First there was the Spinach last September. Then that same company recalled some lettuce in October. And of course, in those same two months there were cases of botulism toxin being found in carrot juice in both the US and Canada. Now green onions from Taco Bell aren’t safe. When are we going to learn that the Industrial Food Supply is bad. I’ve been preaching this to those that would listen for quite a while now.

First, it limits the variety of fruits and vegetables available to us by pushing out most local growers. This destroys local culture oriented around food and eliminates regional varieties of even more common foods.

Over time, the expectation of what foods are available to most consumers has been condensed. Seeking to produce the “best” produce for the lowest price, the Industrial Food Manufacturers have consolidated production and distribution into the most efficient locations for each specific food. So all of the citrus fruit, for instance, in the produce section of your local mega-mart comes from a very limited number of places. This means that local minerals and nutrients are no longer present in the soil that our food is grown in and, therefore, no longer in the food that is grown.

By having the majority of our food grown in only a few places, we also open ourselves up to the threat of individuals and organizations with mal intent by having a nearly single point of entry into the American Food Supply for the injection of toxins and other biological agents.

Even without the threat of terrorism, by engineering and controlling almost every degree of the food we eat, we open ourselves up to potential problems that we never even considered. What if those new Grape flavored Apples (“Grapples”:http://www.grapplefruits.com/) that I’ve seen on the shelf become common place? What if, unknown to those producing the food, they contain some hidden element that is toxic to us. What if we don’t find out until it’s too late? Would anyone care for a Trans Fat? They’re delicious.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, did you know that the Industrial Food Supply is bad for the environment? As early as 1978 the problem was recognized in a book entitled “Eating Oil” which was published following the world’s first oil crisis in 1973. The book detailed the food industries reliance on fossil fuels. Today, “the situation is only worse”:http://www.truthout.org/cgi-bin/artman/exec/view.cgi/34/10314 with even more of our food coming from these environment harming industrial plants.

Having every bite of food you eat engineered and grown by one of five major companies just isn’t a good idea. Health and security risks aside, it ruins the rich culture surrounded by food and drastically reduces the average American pantry. 50 years ago, pancake mix wasn’t all that common. In 50 more years, will we even keep flour in our cupboards?

“An Ohio woman microwaved her one month old baby”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/12/07/baby.microwave.ap/index.html

Allegedly, of course. China Arnold, 26, is charged with killing her baby by putting her in a microwave. Even if she didn’t do it, someone put a child in a microwave oven and started it. Someone put a baby in a microwave and turned it on. Someone put a *child* in a *microwave oven* and started it.

I almost don’t believe it.

Human beings are sick by nature. It’s in our genes or something. Most of us suppress it. Some of us do not. I understand this. But this is beyond sick. This is an innocent child — a human life — killed in what must be one of the most cruel methods that one could kill another person. Whatever punishment this person receives will not be enough.

“If it’s not going to protect me, then what’s the government for, again?”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/12/08/town.guns.reut/index.html

A small town in Western Pennsylvania is encouraging its residents to purchase guns and learn how to use them in order to protect themselves in the event of a home intrusion. While I’m all for our right to bear arms and protect ourselves, I always believed that it was a *right* not a *requirement*. If I have to protect myself, then what am I paying my taxes for? Isn’t the majority of our Government’s job to protect its citizens? Sure, there’s public school. But, I’m not letting my kids into a public school if I have to sit out in front of it with a gun all day to protect them there too. And yeah, the road-ways are awfully nice, but certainly not worth what I pay in taxes. I can find other ways to get around. So what am I paying for?

“Tastes great and keeps the babies away”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/12/07/chewable.contraception.ap/index.html

A new chewable, spearmint flavored birth control pill has hit the market as if swallowing a tiny pill wasn’t easy enough. I wonder though: will women using this new variety have to worry about the bits of pill that get stuck in their teeth. I’d advise a good swish-and-swallow following each pill, just to be safe. Or, wait…. I know! Just swallow the new chewable, spearmint flavored pill.

“It’s fucking cold down here!”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/WEATHER/12/07/big.chill/index.html

Tom: And now to our weatherman Ollie Williams for the Blackie-Weather Forecast, Ollie?
Olie: IT’S RAININ’ SIDEWAYS!
Tom: Don’t you have an umbrella?
Olie: USED TO!
Tom: Where is it now?
Olie: INSIDE OUT TWO MILES AWAY!
Tom: Is there anything we can do for you?
Olie: BRING ME SOME SOUP!
Tom: What kind?
Olie: CHUNKY!
Tom: Thanks, Ollie. Up next, a pig that refuses to eat Jews. After this.

– The Family Guy

“Canada gets it right, again. Pack your bags.”:http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/12/07/canada.samesex/index.html?eref=rss_world

Canada’s House of Commons rejected Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s motion to reconsider the law allowing gays and lesbians to marry. So say we all.

I’m not gay. I don’t even know that many gay people. It doesn’t really affect me in any way if gays can marry or not. That’s not the point.

The point is this: if my government affords some form of luxury or special privilege to individuals who choose to socially and financially join themselves together, there should be no stipulation on the quantity, quality, or variety of person those individuals choose. You can name that relationship whatever you want. We’ve been calling it “marriage” for thousands of years, why stop now. Placing stipulations on who can obtain these luxuries is discrimination. Period. It doesn’t matter how that word is defined in a religious setting — there will be no church in my state, thank you very much.

Religious organizations, on the other hand, are private entities and should be entitled to any belief or discrimination they’d like to uphold. So if the Catholic Church, for instance, forbids gay marriage, that’s their choice. Any individual that chooses to remain a member of an organization that openly discriminates against himself is asking for pain and suffering.

Some people try to fight against gay marriage without playing the religion card. This is admirable, sure, but their argument is stupid. It is founded in the idea that the marriage of men and women has been woven into the fabric and culture of every civilization to have ever existed and that destroying that now could have unforeseen social ramifications that they’d rather not test. The problem with this argument is that there are a lot of aspects of our society that haven’t always been present that could have (and did have) unpredictable social implications. Look at electricity, television, and the automobile; Welfare and public health care systems; Interracial marriage; the separation of church and state; Women’s suffrage; the end of slavery; DEMOCRACY and CAPITALISM! These things all had unpredictable social implications but we went ahead with them anyway because we knew it was the right, proper, and FREE thing to do.

Gay marriage isn’t just about gays and lesbians being able to marry one another. It’s about FREEDOM. Not freedom for some. Not freedom for the majority. *FREEDOM for ALL*.

We don’t have any outstanding credit card debt or unpaid bills. So, if I wanted to be really responsible, my only option would be to pay down some principal on our house, but that’s not any fun and it’s not something that’ll really make a difference to us unless we happen to still be in this house 20 years from now. Of course we could also take the low road and blow it on “something really stupid”:http://www.shooshtime.com/clips/video.php?id=8013. I’d prefer to find a middle ground.

Since the refund is largely due to money spent on photography equipment last year, we could compound the situation by buying more photography equipment with it. There is a lens and a few lights that I’ve had my eye on for a while now. Then again, now that things are moving along fairly well, I’d like to let my work pay for itself. (So “buy a print”:http://flickr.com/photos/revjim/tags/forsale/ or “book a session”:http://djamesphoto.com/pages/photosessions/, will ya?)

I’d like to plan a nice vacation, but Jess and I made tentative plans over Christmas break to go to New York City with some friends this spring. Jess was supposed to be planning it all out, but, so far she’s got nothing.

Of course we could spend it on something for the house that we wouldn’t have purchased otherwise. We are already planning on putting in new flooring, so that leaves one of several ideas I have in mind involving home decor, electronics, and various storage solutions. What can I say, I’ve got a mind for design. (I’ve been watching way too much TLC these days. Time to “turn the TV off”:http://www.lifehacker.com/software/gadgets/tvbgone-universal-television-remote-155757.php.)

We could rent a large room for an evening, buy mad amounts of Club Crackers, Easy Cheese, and Cadbury Mini-Eggs, invite everyone we know and have the party of the century, but I don’t really want to go to jail again.

I’ve got to do something with it. It’s burning a hole in my pocket.

She “went to Dallas once”:http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_ad/episode/0,1976,FOOD_9947_22295,00.html on her show “$40 a Day” and do you know where she ate? La Madeleine and Sonny Bryan’s BBQ! Come on now! Dallas is a city full of foodies and the restaurants that cater to them. Don’t you think she could do better than two chain restaurants, one of which isn’t very good and the other of which is basically a fancy cafeteria?

And is “Olive Oil” really such a long word that it needs to be shortened? Even if you insist on saying “Extra Virgin Olive Oil”, the time savings between that and _eee-veee-oh-oh_ isn’t much. I’m sure writing it down as “EVOO”:http://store.foodnetwork.com/shop/product.asp?product_code=4969&department_code=2&category_code=30&subcategory_code=30&search_type=subcategory is a real time saver, but saying _eee-vee-oh-oh_ out loud reminds me of those people that say _ell-oh-ell_ in verbal conversation: they *deserve* to have rocks thrown at them. Hey Rachael, how about a big plate of _ess-teee-eff-yoo_?

I recently saw an episode of Unwrapped in which he went behind the scenes of many of the popular Food Network programs and Rachael’s set was one of them. She dazzled us with the fact that, despite what it looks like, her studio kitchen window doesn’t actually lead to the great outdoors — it’s just a set. Wow!! Really? Then she went on to tell us that the planning of each show starts with her writing down what she wants to make. Then, someone else looks it over and makes a recipe for it. Finally, she looks at it in this nice thick three-ring binder and approves it. That’s just fascinating, Rachael, do you watch paint dry too?

Obviously, she must be doing something (or someone) right. You know, she isn’t unattractive. Maybe she’s using her looks to her advantage? Does she wear low-cut shirts and lean over a lot? In order to keep myself on a regular sleep schedule, I don’t watch her shows, so I’m not sure. Maybe one of her fans can shed some light on this.

Well, CBS, here’s some free advice for you: put a bag over her head so we don’t have to see the gaping hole in her face. As “fantastic as her legs may be”:http://www.tunc.biz/couric_fan.htm, as far as I’m concerned, she may as well be an amputee with a face like that. Now I don’t know anything about the news anchoring business and she may very well be fantastic at it, but if you’re buying her to give people something to look at, “as it has been suggested”:http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5324687, then that face has got to go.

We bash everything equally around here, folks.