Weight Loss Trend
Goal: 1.5lbs per week
Lost Total: 1.7lbs trend / 3.8 actual
Lost Weekly: 0.2lbs trend / 2.0 actual
To Goal: 35.4lbs (39.2 total)
[KINDA MET]
(I am there in actual pounds lost, but the trend has yet to catch up)

5k Training
Goal: 3 days per week
Thursday, Sunday, Monday (late start due to ice)
Current Time: 3.28km in 30 minutes
[GOAL MET]

No Food After 8pm
[changed the goal to 8pm to be more reasonable]
Goal: 5 days per week
I didn't mark which days, but I can think of only two where I failed this, so, I'll call it met for this week.
[GOAL MET] - I think

Fitness Ladder
Goal: 1 Rung per week.
Rung 3
[GOAL MET]

(Push Ups, Crunches, and Waist Size not measured)

I think I've managed to get the no eating at night thing worked out. Upping the time to 8pm has helped a lot with my crazy schedule. This week I intend to keep really good track to make sure I'm making this goal

I didn't meet my weight loss goal based on trending, however, if you just look at pure weight, I lost 2 pounds last week. So, I'll consider that pretty good. The trend will take a little while to catch up since I didn't get my running in for 3 or 4 days while the roads were covered in ice. Despite still being very cold, they are quite dry. It'd be even better if people could learn to turn their sprinklers off.

For those of you that offered words of encouragement, promise of reward, and other unmentionable offers, THANK YOU! Please, please, please, please, please keep it up. It really helps to have something to look forward to.

Now we start week 3.

Whatever your feed reader of choice maybe, you're going to need some feeds to stuff into it. So, I thought I'd take this moment to tell you about the Feeds offered here at revjim.net.

I write in a lot of places.

• LiveJournal (life, micro blogging, one line updates announcing posts elsewhere)
• Tumblr (links to thinks I like or find interesting)
• Arranging Light (one daily (ha ha ha) photo of either experimental or portfolio quality work)
• Flickr (all of my published photos regardless of quality or usage intent)
• Twitter (micro blogging)
• revjim.net (everything else)

If you subscribe to any of those services, then you probably just want to subscribe to me in that service. However, to make life easier on the rest of you, I've created special RSS feeds. They are powered by FeedBurner and they will be updated to follow the particular content being presented regardless of where I happen to be writing it or what tool I happen to be using that week to do so.

Isn't that nice of me? So, without further delay I offer you, 100% free, unabridged, unrated, and with the directors cut included with every purchase, the following feeds.

revjim world
[feed]
This is for the true revjim fan. If you need all the revjim you can get and you need it now, this is the feed for you. It's non-stop revjim action. It has all of my entries from revjim.net, as well as my entries on life from LiveJournal. It also includes my daily (ha ha ha) photo from Arranging Light as well as all the links I post on Things Jim Likes. I do all the work to make sure you don't get double posts and that you are presented with links to the most appropriate location. Yeah, I'm a nice guy like that. Additionally, for the RSS feeder challenged, this feed can be subscribed to via email so you get an email once a day with my postings from the previous 24 hours.

revjim site
[feed]
This contains the entries from this site. This site is basically used to house anything I don't put somewhere else. Make sense, right. As it stands today, this means everything except photographs, random links to interesting sites, and more personal or local entries about my life. It is currently powered by Wordpress and self hosted. If this should change the feed will change with it.

revjim links
[feed]
This contains all of my random links to interesting sites. It's currently powered by Tumblr. If this should change, the feed will change with it.

revjim life
[feed]
This contains all of my posts about my life. It is currently powered by LiveJournal. This feed contains a filter of the posts on LiveJournal to ensure that you don't get all of the little updates that I post there to tell you that I've posted in other places. It currently does NOT contain the secured posts I make, though I hope that will change in the future. It also does not currently contain the Life posts that I sometimes make on revjim.net. As soon as I get a few things straightened out, I will make sure that it does. If I should change my publishing location, this feed will change with it.

arranging light
[feed]
This is actually the feed from my Arranging Light site. It contains a daily (ha ha ha) photo of either portfolio quality work or something new and experimental. It is powered by Wordpress and is self hosted. If this should change, the feed with change with it.

Weight Loss Trend
Goal: 1.5lbs per week
Lost 1.4lbs (1.8 Actual). 38.6lbs to go
[NOT MET]

5k Training
Goal: 3 days per week
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Current Time: 3.28km in 30 minutes
[GOAL MET]

No Food After 7pm
Goal: 5 days per week
Sunday, Monday, Thursday
[NOT MET]

Fitness Ladder
Goal: 1 Rung per week.
Rung 2
[GOAL MET]

(Push Ups, Crunches, and Waist Size not measured)

Not eating after 7pm is going to take a little more planning than I originally thought. The trouble is, on some days, it's after 8pm before I'm even thinking about dinner. Especially on my "Me Time" days. So I need to start planning reasonable meal times for each day before they start.

I didn't meet my weightloss goal but, a) I only missed by 0.1lbs, and b) since it's based on a trend (90% of the value comes from yesterday's trend) I didn't actually expect to even come that close in the first week. I did analyze my caloric intake. I've found that, without snacks at night, for the most part, my caloric intake is right in target for my weight loss. The only issue I have is that the amount of fat I eat tends to be a bit higher than it shoul be. I'll be trying to work on that more this coming week.

For those of you that offered words of encouragement, promise of reward, and other unmentionable offers, THANK YOU!

Now we start week 2.

As I see it, there are really only 2 options.

1. My own website powered by Wordpress
2. LiveJournal

The big deciding factor between the two is whether I want to write in public or private, and how much I want to cater to lazy people.

First, the lazy factor.

I've found that, for entries about Life, I get far more comments in LiveJournal than I do on the same entry posted on my website. It seems that LiveJournal users are either too lazy to click the link and read at my site, or are too lazy to bother to comment once they do.

Question 1:
Do I want to cater to this? Do I care?

Secondly, there is security.

If I'm going to really get deep into the "locked entry" writing, LiveJournal makes the most sense because it has tons of features in this arena. It means that some people will be excluded if they don't have a LiveJournal account or know how to use OpenID. It also means I'd lost a lot of control over the look, layout, and functionality.

If i just intend to write something locked once in a great while, I can find some other means for distribution or use WordPress password protection and not really worry about it. In which case, I could just write on my own website like I've been doing and call it good.

Question 2:
So I ask you, do you think I write enough about my personal life? Am I candid enough in public? So you think I'm too candid in public? Should many of my life entries have a lot more filter on them?

I'm really twisted over which way to go on this. Your comments are appreciated.

My personal improvement project is going quite well, though only4 days old at this point. I've had no offers of reward, encouragement, or companionship but I have I have inspired a few people to take a similar approach in their own lives, which is awesome. Running 3 mornings a week has proven to be the most difficult. It's cold, and I'm tired, and it's just so easy to say "no" and roll over in bed. But, I haven't yet.

pushing away

Thanks to a couple of friends, I managed to do something I've always wanted to do last night: photograph an abandoned building at night. It was something that I just couldn't bring myself to do alone. Fear of getting hurt with no one to assist, mostly — either by something old laying on the property, an animal living in the house, or the hobo who might be sleeping in the barn.

I've been making a better effort to start documenting my daughter's life as well. There will be more on this later, but possibly not here. I'm not sure I'm willing to link this to that. We'll see. If you know me personally, and would like info, hit me up some other way and I'll make sure you're included.

I've been making some very good headway when it comes to sorting out the relationships in my life. My therapist agrees, which is just reassurance that I am making reasonable decisions. In many cases, I'm finding that the relationships I'm realizing I've lost aren't really anyone's "fault". It's just that they have become less available to me than I am. But I wasn't keeping that in balance which led to hurt and confusion and panic. Balance is really key. I am now learning how to allow that balance to mostly maintain itself, and how to recognize when it isn't.

All this sorting out has also opened my eyes up to some valuable friendships that I was being unavailable to that are certainly worth putting some energy into. It's also given me the opportunity and motive to seek out some new friendships, which I haven't really done in a long time. I've met a few interesting people. One person in particular, very similar to me in thought process and desires, I've made a very nice connection with. I'm having coffee with her this Friday, which should be fun.

I've got a couple more photo projects I really want to get rolling. I'm still looking for volunteers if you're interested. Don't worry, I won't make you take off ALL of your clothes. :)

As the holidays approach life is getting more and more hectic on it's own, which is also good, in a way. While I enjoy peace and quiet, I really thrive in hectic conditions.

Tonight Jess and I are putting up our holiday tree. This weekend we'll be seeing my parents, as usual, and enjoying some time with some good friends. I'm also planning on photographing my friend's kid for the holidays. Maybe even get some of our kids together. They are both so cute. Is it too early to arrange a marriage?

I had really wanted to attend the Dallas Santa Rampage this year, but it took more giving and planning than I wanted to invest and, when I really considered everything, the time is better spent elsewhere. But I'm certain it will be a blast and I believe there are still tickets left. So, if you're not doing anything Saturday, you should certainly consider it.

Speaking of the holidays, I remember now that I'd wanted to write a bit about my thoughts on Christmas, Advent, the birth of Jesus and the true message of his life. Someone remind me to do that, will you?

It's not serious. But it's borderline. No. Fuck it, it's serious.

Most importantly, I simply don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I look dressed and I really don't like the way I look naked. Well except for that part, of course. Rowr.

There was a point in time that I liked the shape of my body. I liked the amount of muscle and fat I had. I liked being able to follow each vein in my forearms. That was a long time ago. That was over 40 pounds ago. I loved those veins. I want them back.

The hardest part to admit was that I have bad eating habits. Well I do. There. I admit it.

My problem is not beer or alcohol. It's not overly large, calorie filled meals. It's not because I eat unhealthy food. It's not because my meals are too high in fat or carbs. It's because I snack. And when I snack, not only is it usually not healthy food, it's usually in quantities above what should constitute a snack. Waaaaaay above. I could eat an entire bag of peanut M&Ms. One of the big ones. In one sitting. I'm not even kidding.

I didn't always snack like this. And when I didn't, despite far worse eating habits and much less exercise and the same office job, I wasn't overweight.

I finally figured it out. I snack because, oddly, I'm doing nothing else. And the reason I'm doing nothing else is because I'm far too stressed out about the "what"s and "how"s of the things I should/could be doing to actually commit to doing them.

So, because all the little pieces trigger each other, the solution requires all three things to be accounted for. Fun, huh?

So here we go.

ARE YOU A PROFESSIONAL…
Don't suggest I see a professional. I will ignore you at best, yell at you if I'm stressed, or send you photos of the above mentioned naked body if I'm feeling frisky.

Nutritionists, personal trainers, cuddle therapists, massage therapists, chiropractors, acupuncturists, Swedish massage professionals, and exotic dancers: if you have something you'd like to offer for free, I'll take it — email me right away! Don't delay!

But I'm not going to confuse and upset other aspects of the equation and throw money at the problem when, at this stage, I can clearly define the goals on my own. I'm a smart guy. I can figure it out.

• Thighs jiggle, need less fat.
• Couch dented, need more exercise.
• Arms like Jello, need more muscle.
• Can't see feet, need smaller belly.

As I move forward, if I find I have more specific goals beyond "increase" and "reduce" then I'll seek professional help to reach those goals if I it's not something I can reach on my own.

GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS…
So you might be asking, how you can help. Well, have I got a deal for you.

I need encouragement, positive reinforcement, accountability, support, and rewards for progress at both big and small milestones. All of this, of course, has to come from me. If I have to rely on anyone else to make this happen, then, chances are, it won't. But patting myself on the back gets boring after a while.

If you've got a some encouraging words, nice thoughts to send you'd certainly make it easier on me. If you've got a reward to offer it'll give me something to look forward to. Hugs, cuddles, words of praise, fabricated certificates, photos of you in a silly hat, lewd photos of you, lewd photos of you in a silly hat, you tube videos of you doing the roger rabbit, promises to wear T-shirts exclaiming "Daniel is my God" are all acceptable forms of reward. Be creative. Make me work for it.

I could also use a Yoga teacher (anyone who knows more than me), a running partner, a hiking partner, a sex partner, and an exercise partner. You know, all in the interest of health. Serious inquiries only.

So what's in it for you? Aside from my appreciation, reciprocation, dedication, and proclamation of your amazingness, you'll be entitled to free certificates from the "oh my god daniel is so effing hot" escort service. Need to make an ex-boyfriend jealous? Need a hot date for that black tie affair? Looking for some NSA action? Need to make sure your boyfriend isn't gay? Then the new, improved, old-fashioned Daniel will be just what you need. Look at this as an investment in your future.

THE GOALS!

WHAT GOES IN…
I know what I should eat. I know what I shouldn't eat. I know how big portions should be. I don't need a plan filled with preboxed meals, or a program lined with people yelling at me to point the right way. I just need to reduce, particularly at night.

• Big Goals
  • Lose 40 pounds
  • Lose 4 inches on my waist
• Small Goals
  • Lose 1.5 pounds each week and keep it off for 1 week
  • No food after 7pm at least 5 nights a week
  • Drink a full glass of water before and after each meal or snack

WHAT COMES OUT…
I don't need a personal trainer to tell me that if I move around for longer and faster than I do when my fat ass is sitting in a chair then my heart rate will increase, my metabolism will increase and I'll burn calories. Not only right that moment either, but with echoing effects in my body.

• Big Goals
  • run 5K(3 miles) in 30 minutes
  • 50 push ups
  • 75 crunches
  • rung 25 of the Fitness Ladder
• Small Goals
  • do 5K interval training 3 days each week
  • do fitness ladder training every day
  • 5 count increments on push ups / crunches
  • 1 rung each week of the Fitness Ladder

I LIKE COATING MY FINGERS IN CANDLE WAX…
So many people fail to realize the benefits of stress management. I'm making it a part of my life.

Part of this includes Yoga. For now, Yoga for me means either Sun Salutations in repetition or following along with a video, partner, or on the Wii Fit. I'll advance with time.

Meditation is simply that. I can combine it with Yoga or perform it separately. At the very least, I'll really gain an understanding of the backs of my eye lids.

Journalling helps me to get the last bits of thought out and bring clarity to them. And I get to whine like a little emo baby. How fun is that?!

There are no "big goals" here, because it doesn't work like that.

• Goals
  • Yoga 3 days each week
  • 15 minutes of meditation 5 days each week
  • Journaling 3 days each week

CURRENT STATS

Weight Loss: 0 lbs (40 lbs to go)
Inches Lost: 0 in (4 inches to go)
Push Ups: 7
Crunches: 22
Running: 2 miles in 25 minutes
Fitness Ladder Rung: 1

I was important.
I was not alone.
I had you.

I left.
I felt lonely.
I felt insignificant.
I was without you.

Looking behind me, I see
Though I was not alone,
I was lonely still.
Though I was important,
my importance was trivial.

Looking ahead, I see
I am alone,
though unlonely.
I am unknown,
thought my importance is significant.

Lonely has no opposite.

Roughly 10 years ago, I caught a disease. A disease of the mind. Something that wiggled it's ways into the folds of my thought and slowly and persistently injected increasingly invalid thoughts into my brain. Thoughts that cause me to believe that I should be abused. That I should be the guy that always did things for people. That I should be the person who always went out of his way to maintain friendships that were one-sided, failing, distant, or unavailable. That I should be the guy to bear the guilt when relationships didn't work out or when people didn't get what they wanted from me in the way that they wanted it.

And slowly but surely it's led me to have the self-destructive, guilt-ridden thought processes that I have today.

No more.

While there are certainly some abusive, using relationships that I've maintained, that is not the bulk of the problem. Thankfully, I hadn't gotten that bad yet. The majority of my problem centers around my continued support and attempts at development of relationships that are either one-sided, or unavailable.

It's important to note that I don't blame these "friends". They aren't bad people. In some cases, yes, they were willing to take what I was giving even though they knew they were offering nothing in return. But, it doesn't make them bad people. In most cases, it's simply a matter of their time and energy resources being stretched too thin to support me being as close a friend as I had being trying to be. My mind, being broken, refused to let these friendships drift away as they should have. Instead, I pulled harder and made myself even more available. An invitation of any kind from them was seen as a spark and all efforts would be made to accept that invitation. If I accepted it, it often led to the guilt of having to put other things on the back burner. And in the event that I couldn't accept, I was faced with the guilt of saying "no".

So it's time for a change.

this one last mistake

At this point, this change is very active and prominent in my mind. Unfortunately, having active thoughts about relationships that should be left to drift away is a bit counter productive. The easiest way to fight this is to focus my mind on other things. Here's how:

• I'm starting myself on a new schedule that involves less down time and yet more time to reflect on good things. I've left lots of room for seeing people I care about, so don't think you need to avoid me or leave me alone or let me straighten myself out. Quite the contrary, in fact. I'd love to see you, especially in a smaller group or one-on-one.
• I'm starting or renewing a few projects — some photography, some programming, some physical. I'll have more details on this in the future. If you're interested in being in a new photo project and actually have some time available for this in the next 2 - 4 months, please let me know. If you don't have the time, please don't waste mine.
• I'm going to focus on seeing MORE of my friends LESS often. In other words, I intend to spend more quality time with varied people in smaller groups or one-on-one. In the past I've sought larger groups as often as possible thinking that such events would allow me to foster MORE friendships. Those friends that weren't willing to be involved with the larger group or then events planned were seen less often and, because of the group size, intimate, quality time was not spent with those in the group. I hope to get more out of the friendships that I have and require less of each of those relationships by spreading myself more evenly. Additionally, I hope that the true, real, available friendships will be seen more clearly this way.

Don't think that I'm going away — it's not like that at all. You may see less of me than you're used to. If you want more of me in your life, all you have to do is say something. In fact, in many ways for a lot of you, I've been pretty distant for the past month or so anyway, so you may not even notice a change.

I feel good about this and I can really use your support. I don't want you to fix me. I just want you to be there.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping - Why haven't I done this?
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - Canada counts, right?
35. Seen an Amish community - Mennonite… close enough?
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing - It was a fake rock made for climbing, and I did it while drunk.
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - Self Published
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - GW Bailey. Alissa Milano.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

As far as what I've documented online of her life I really have dropped the ball. At the very least my intent was to take a portrait of her once a month. While I'm sure I've taken at least one photo of her each month, I didn't get the portrait I wanted. There just isn't enough free time. Even though I feel like even that is an excuse.

Regardless of all that, she's happy, and healthy, and growing so big I can hardly believe it. In case I missed something, here is a list of things she can do now:

• crawl. very fast.
• close doors. in my face.
• climb up stairs. going down, she thinks it's okay to just jump.
• pant like a dog. which she learned by mimicking my mom's dogs.
• growl like a lion. my personal favorite.
• cluck like a chicken.
• baaa like a sheep. though this seems to require all of her concentration and comes out in one quick burst.
• call the cats ("kitty kitty kitty"). this causes them to run from her even faster.
• cough on cue.
• dance. especially when music with a strong beat comes on.
• pull up on any surface at her eye height or lower.
• find the volume up button on any remote control within 10 seconds.
• press previously mentioned volume up button until everyone is out of their seats trying to make it stop.
• laugh uncontrollably at the above spectacle.
• climb over almost any obstacle. even if it means walking on her hands and feet instead of knees.
• feed herself finger foods. usually done by cramming the food and all four fingers into her mouth.
• slurp spaghetti noodles. I'm a proud dad.
• drink from a sippy cup without help.
• say up, all done, more, milk, and food in sign language.
• give kisses. mouth wide open. lots of drool.
• crawl all the way across the room just to give kisses.
• sleep in her own bed in her own room.
• say dadadada and mumumumum and know which is which. dada is usually used during playtime. mumum is reserved for crying.
• play guitar. and hand drums. also enjoys using random surfaces for drumming. she takes after her dad.
• melt my heart over and over again.

Yet still he held on as tightly as he could
to the one piece of her that was left.

OneWord // Held

The click-scrape of plastic parts
forgotten far in the back,
each corner forcing a new worry.
Despite the noise, I write while driving
because it feels good to feel.

I will teach nine years of love
followed by nine years of cunning.
And she will not be ill-equipped
As I am.

A faked smile from the girl
that makes my coffee.
I will surround myself in this.
I will absorb these beautiful things.
I will hold them close and forever
as paper sucks up ink into its fibers.
Even if they are make believe.

2. What do you spend altogether too much time on?
Thinking. Worrying about the happiness of others.

3. What's a memorable piece of clothing you misplaced?
I had a multi-colored sweatshirt that I loved and wore all too often for about 5 years straight. I lent it to Jess when we first met and she still lived in Canada. I didn't see it again for a long while. But, just recently, Jess found it. I seriously doubt it would fit now. I'm not even going to try it on.

4. Top 3 things you're most likely to have for breakfast.
In order of probability: Coffee, An Energy Bar, Toast with Peanut Butter

5. BTTW: Sitting peacefully, overlooking the beautiful Texas landscape, with no sound except the wind blowing and the water moving, and managing to clear my head just long enough to enjoy it.

WTTW: Being alone. Both literally and figuratively.
Top 3 Audio
Brand New - Jesus Christ
The Smashing Pumpkins - Cherry
Radiohead - Street Spirit

I need a love to help me find my way
I need a strength that I cannot betray
I need a word to say what I can't say
I need a lover

-Cherry / The Smashing Pumpkins

It really hard to sum up a weekend like this in a word or two. I'm inclined to say "it was a good weekend" but there's really so much more than that.

I'm at a time right now where "loneliness" is the overwhelming feeling. I feel alone, and important, and, at times, betrayed. It doesn't feel good. In a time like this, two days alone on the road isn't exactly a good idea. It's not exactly a bad idea either, though.

So there it is.

The drive was nice. The weather was chilly, but also nice. Two of the four state parks I visited were nothing short of breath taking. I can still close my eyes and feel both in awe and at peace. The other two were quite nice as well. I read quite a bit, which I enjoyed. True, raw bits of nature really excite me. As does exploring new places and new things. I only wish I had someone to share it with.

In all of my time spent driving and walking and thinking — always thinking — I did learn a few things, which I guess makes it all worthwhile in the end.

#1. I am responsible for my own happiness. As much as I'd like to be able to lean on my friends, my family, and my wife for happiness, when all else fails, I'm still left with myself. I am my own last resort.

#2. I am responsible for no one other than myself, the child I brought into this world, and any commitments I have made until they are either fulfilled or broken by someone else.

#3. While there are plenty of things (friends, sex, drugs) in this world that can make me feel better, relying on them will only lead to absolute breakdown when they are unavailable when I need them most.

Ha ha hahaha. Just kidding.

Lost Maples an 8 hour drive for me, each way, and I'll have to do it alone which exactly what I don't need right now. Additionally, right now on weekends, Lost Maples has a 3 hour way to get in. So Lost Maples is out.

I had started making plans to head toward Arkansas for the weekend, but I just couldn't work it out to where i was happy. Then the best plan ever finally hit me. I'm headed for central Texas including Colorado Bend State Park.

Here it is. Times are rough because, hell, it's a road trip. (view route on Google Maps)

SATURDAY
5:00am: Leave Home
7:00am: Arrive at Cleburne State Park (Cleburne, TX)
* Enjoy Cleburne State Park
9:00am: Leave Cleburne State Park
10:30am: Arrive at Lake Whitney State Park (Whitney, TX)
* Enjoy Lake Whitney State Park
1:30pm: Leave Lake Whitney State Park
3:30pm: Arrive at Mother Neff State Park (Moody, TX)
* Enjoy Mother Neff State Park
* Sunset
6:00pm: Leave Mother Neff State Park
7:00pm: Arrive at hotel in Killeen, TX
* Dinner

SUNDAY
4:45am: Get ready
5:15am: Leave Hotel
7:00am: Arrive at Colorado Bend State Park (Bend, TX)
* Enjoy Colorado Bend State Park
11:00am: Leave Colorado Bend State Park
* Lunch
3:30pm: Arrive at Mineral Wells State Park (Mineral Wells, TX)
* Enjoy Mineral Wells State Park
6:00pm: Leave Mineral Wells State Park
8:00pm: Arrive Home