revjim.net

austin

shared living: searching for community

image by 27147

As we live a life of ease
Every one of us has all we need,
Sky of blue, and sea green,
In our yellow submarine!

I’m amazed at how many of my friends are interested in living together. It makes me believe that maybe the culture I’m looking for here in Dallas isn’t lost after all. I’ve seen an outpouring of ideas and offers from lots of people over the past week or so and it’s really helped me flesh this out a bit.

One of the most interesting offers was to share a home with a family in Austin. The family is already very dear to my heart and like-minded in terms of family and responsibility. And I long ago decided that Austin was an ideal city for me if I was going to stay in Texas. This seemed like a perfect situation.

But, the more I consider it the more I realize how much risk and difficulty there is involved with it. I’d have to take C away from her Mom. It’s only a few hours away and she’d still be able to see her almost as often as she’d like. But, it adds some complication. Factor in that I’d need to drop everything, move, look for a job, rent out my house, and leave everything I know and love here in DFW, it was just too much to do all at once. I still think this is ideal, and if I haven’t found what I’m looking for in Dallas within a few years, I’ll start looking out that way again. But for now, I think I have to let that go.

Another amazing offer I received was to share a home with a family in North Richland Hills. This place is beautiful! There’s lots of room! I’ve been friends (though not incredibly close friends) with half of the parental unit for over 10 years. I met the rest of the family and we all got along wonderfully. I’m still having conversations with them and working some bits out in my head.

But, as I see it now, there are a few limiting factors. Despite being a huge home, there are only 4 bedrooms. 3 of them are occupied by this family, so C and I would share a room. We do that now, so that’s okay. But as she gets older I’d prefer she share with another child. There’s nothing to say she couldn’t share with one of the other kids though. So that’s a wait-and-see kind of thing. The other limiting factor is that this house very much belongs to this family. I had envisioned a “our home” mentality and perhaps this would blossom into that as time progressed, but that isn’t the feel I got right away. So, another wait-and-see. The biggest limiting factor, though, is that, because after I move in all the rooms would be taken, it will be, at most, a two family home. Again, the family there said that there might be opportunity for more but wants to do it on a wait-and-see basis. So there’s a whole lot of wait-and-see.

I’m okay with wait-and-see. But I’d like to limit the disruptions to my daughter’s life as much as possible. With a move, a change in schooling/daycare, a whole new city, and the need to untie us from our current house, that’s a LOT to go with for so much wait-and-see. I’m still talking with them, and we’re going to have lots of sleep overs in the future, both to see where this goes and also because I’m excited to have met a friendly, open, like-minded family with an open-door policy so similar to my own.

So that leaves me with three options for now. I intend to pursue all three until one pans out.

I am going to keep looking for an existing home that I could share with another family. Ideally, there’d be room for at least three families but I’m flexible there for the right situation. Proximity to Irving, Denton, or Dallas is ideal, though not required. If you know of anyone that lives in a home with a room or two that they would spare and are interested in an intentional community of this nature, please let me know or send them my way.

I am going to think of ways to make my current home more suited to multi-family living and seek out families to share it with. I got an offer from a friend who would be willing to share my home. However, with her and her daughter here, that exhausts all of the “conventional” sleeping space my home has to offer (and that’s with our daughters sharing a room). The rooms in my house are large, however. So I’m looking for creative ways to split them into smaller spaces suitable for children as well adults who would consider even more open-minded living arrangements (like large rooms being shared by adults, etc). If you’re creative and budget-minded and would like to help me think of ways to split up this space let me know. If you would be open to “interesting” living arrangements with a very small financial obligation, contact me.

Finally, I’m looking to buy a home more suitable to what I want. Something large-ish with emphasis on the number of rooms not the size of them. Ideally in the Denton, Coppell, or Dallas (Oak Cliff, likely) areas. If you know of a home like this, or would be interested in helping to find one and share it, please let me know.

Texas Coast, Day I

Fuel for Paranoia

It would be an understatement to say that I am generally paranoid. I spent most of yesterday morning packing for my trip and contemplating whether I should just call the whole thing off and stay in Dallas in case something happened or I was needed in some way.

About 2 hours after we hit the road, Jess called to tell me she’d been in a car accident with the baby in the car. Thankfully, everyone is okay. I’ll keep asking to make sure and worrying about it the time I’m travelling because that’s what I do, but I’m so very glad that everyone is okay. But stuff like this doesn’t help to calm my paranoia. Working it out helps, though.

There’s no way my presence in Dallas would have prevented that accident or any of potential consequences that may follow. It would have likely happened just as it did. The only difference I might have made was in how the situation was cared for afterwards. But Jess is handling it well and calls whenever she has questions or wants an opinion, so that’s good. It makes me feel like she is taking care of everything and that if something needs my attention or if a problem arises she will let me know. As long as I can hold onto that and trust in that, then there is no reason to worry about anything.

I hope working it out is enough to help me let it go.

So that’s that. Enough said.

A Bad Feeling

I’m also starting to see signs that, once again, my intuition can be trusted. This is very good.

Recently (now there’s a vague time word for you), I got a bad feeling about some aspects of some relationships in my life. Yesterday, while I’m fairly sure everything will be just fine in the end, I had a tiny scare that started a zygote of an idea which blossomed into full blown panic. It made me realize that sometimes the risk isn’t worth the payoff and that when my intution is telling me that it might not be, instant gratification is not always the best long term solution.

I continually seek comfort and communion with others and I’m okay with that. I think that’s part of what society is suppossed to provide us with. However, I seem to be seeking it in the wrong places; places that end up leaving me feeling less comfortable and less cared for and more alone. I think, in part, this is due to issues I have with vulnerability. I desire to be close to others but I shy away from the vulnerabilty that generally comes with that. So, instead, I seek action and responses that indicate familiarity and, eventually, comfort, but do so without that initial act of vulnerability. This rarely leads to the response I want which only increases frustration. I’m working on figuring this out. But in the mean time I find myself feeling frustrated and alone in the relationships that I do reach out in. So, while I work on things from this end, I’m hopeful that I find a friendship that will work with me from the other side. It’s not really something you can ask for though. It just has to happen, I guess.

SPOON!

Oh yeah. So, the part of the trip that happned outside of my head. We made it to the hotel around 6:30pm and wanted to get to Stubb’s (the venue Spoon was playing at) by 7pm, so not a whole lot happened before that other than driving and good conversation.

discarded memories

discarded memories

The walk from the hotel to the venue was nice though. I miss walking with a purpose. Celeste and I go on walks often, but the final destination is just back home and the walk, while fun, is mostly purposeless. It’s nice to walk with a purpose. I brought the small point and shoot camera and took a few photos here and there.

The concert was great, despite some technical difficulties. Spoon puts on a good show and when they perform they are just as tight and together as they are on their albums. The sounds was spot on and the bass was just enough to let you really feel the music. Outdoor venues, even in the heat of the Texas summer, are by far my favorite places to see live music.

looking for adventure

I had originally planned on taking a road trip out to Atlanta this coming weekend. Just get in the car Friday morning and not look back until Monday. But, as one thing leads to another, it looks like that’s just not going to happen. Not because I can’t, but simply because I don’t think it’s for the best right now.

But… I’m still doing something. It’s been far too long since I spent a weekend focused on Photography. So that’s the goal.

So, these are my options. While I may sound sarcastic and downplaying of each of these, I really am quite excited to do any or all of them.

  • Still go to Atlanta… Atlanta, TEXAS, that is. It was, after all, named after Atlanta, Georgia, so I’m sure it’s almost the same as the real thing. Once the destination is reached, just go where the photos take me. Possible sights include Atlanta State Park, Caddo Lake, Jefferson, and Daingerfield (one of my favorite state parks).
  • Visit Shreveport, Louisiana. Spend the day photographing urban decay (like Mike Rosebery does), spend the evening playing craps at some stinky casino.
  • Drive down to Austin and stop by Hippie Hollow to go skinny dipping for the first time ever, arguably legally.  Then spend the evening photographing Austin sights and night life. Probably visit Hamilton Pool as well.
  • See how many Texas towns within 4 hours of my house with stolen/borrowed names I can visit in the course of a weekend. Palestine, Italy, Oakland, Athens, Buffalo, and Eureka, are just a few candidates on a very long list.

Who among you will bring your sense of adventure and join me? I promise as much fun, danger, excitement, and expression as you put into it — which really is saying I promise nothing.

Road Trip this weekend?

Who wants to go on a Road Trip this weekend? We’d leave Friday afternoon or early Saturday morning and head back Sunday or Monday evening. Hotel, gas, photography equipment and park admission is already covered.

If you follow me on Twitter (as you very well should) you may have witnessed my consideration of making an impromptu Road Trip last Saturday morning. Well, those thoughts have not subsided. Maybe I’ll have better luck if I start thinking about it now, two days earlier.

I’d like to visit the Lost Maples State Natural Area. I’ve been talking about doing this for several years now and simply never have. The point of the trip is to see and photograph the leaves changing colors as it features a large, isolated stand of uncommon Uvalde Bigtooth Maple. According to the 2008 Foliage Color Change Report, last weekend was probably a better weekend to visit. A lot of the Maples have dropped their leaves thanks to the wind. On the good side, the Red Oaks are starting to change.

Of course that’s only the purpose, because it helps to aim your car in some direction if you have a purpose. The best part about Road Trips is what happens in all the unplanned parts, and how your plans twist into something even better than originally planned. I love Road Trips.

If I leave Friday night I figure I’ll stop off in Austin or San Antonio for the evening then head out again the next morning. If I leave Saturday morning, I’ll just head straight there. If I leave by 6am I should be there in time for a nice look around before sunset. For the return trip I’m planning to leave around noon. Leaving on Monday just gives me one extra day and can always be decided upon at the last minute.

If I do the Saturday through Sunday trip, I’ll have just enough time for a little hike and then a sunset. Then do a sunrise, and then have another little hike. Then head home. From sunset to sunrise I’ll bum around Kerrville, look for diners, decaying buildings, and things that would make for interesting night photography. I might also sleep. Maybe.

Of course if I do the Friday through Monday trip, I’ve got a lot more time. I can goof off in Austin or San Antonio Friday night. Take my time getting out to Lost Maples Saturday morning. And I’ll have a whole extra day for exploring or allowing for alternate impromptu plans.

I will get up pretty damn early regardless of where we are or how our plans change only because I really like sunrises. You’re welcome to sleep in the hotel room, car, field, barn, boat house, or whereever it was we ended up the night before if you’d prefer not to get up early. I won’t let the pigs nibble your ears too much.

So.. who’s in? Three people (plus myself) is about the maximum group size to make it fun and dynamic. I do pretty well by myself, but I’d much rather have someone with me.

Let me know SOON, because I need to book hotels and/or find couches to crash on in Austin/San Antonio and Kerrville.