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Vacation, Day VIII

Celeste poses near flowers

Celeste poses near flowers

Both Celeste and I slept in a bit. I woke up to her looking in my face and saying “da da”. Strange, because I’m usually the first one up. The weather was BEAUTIFUL so, after a quick breakfast we went for a walk to play at the park. Warm sun, cool breezes, morning light, my daughter’s smile — there really wasn’t much else that could make the morning more perfect.

Eventually, we went home, reluctantly, had an orange to get back some of what the sun sapped from us, and jumped in the car to head for Celeste’s mom’s place.

I’d only seen my father-in-law for a week when he helped Jess move out. And I hadn’t seen nor spoken to my mother-in-law. So I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I dropped Celeste off. They were nice though. My mother-in-law made the same joke she always does when she sees my hair trimed and indicated that I had done it on her account. My father-in-law got up to shake my hand. My mother-in-law even compared our tans. We laughed a bit, and joked a bit, and all-in-all a stayed about 30 minutes before deciding that Celeste was going to be okay if I left. And so I did.

what's left after you

what's left after you

I went to my Dad’s place for an hour or so, and then headed to a friend’s daughter’s birthday party. Had a good time meeting new people, throwing around water baloons and just goofing off. However, nothing makes me feel sadder and more awkward than being at an event geared for children without my child there. I was very glad the my brother, David, and his son, Liam, came, because I coulc sort of claim him as my own here and there.

I had to leave a bit earlier than I wanted in order to book it all the way to McKinney for the Annual Photowalk Day. There were about 50 of us, 7 (counting me) of whom I already knew. My friend Kim came as well, which was awesome. And afterwards she and I had a few beers, and nice dinner, and just talked for a long while. I got a little nervous, and the beer hit my empty stomach pretty quickly, so I’m not sure how awkward I came across as. But, I had fun anyway. Kim is awesome.

Then I headed home, tied up a few loose ends and hit the sack.

the state of the daniel

I can’t even remember *WHERE* I’m supposed to write any more, so I’m just writing here because I can. I’m not really all that happy with LiveJournal right now and I’m thinking I will find some other place to share my “locked” entries. Not really sure where.

So anyway… this will be sort of freeform stream of consciousness. Welcome to my mind.

Celeste and I are going to Mike and Lisa’s house for dinner and a playdate tonight. Should be fun. I really enjoy my friends and love that they feel personally invested in my child. It’s that whole village thing. And I’m meeting my friend Mario for lunch today since he’s in town for training, which is awesome.

Jess said she wants to stay home with Celeste Friday night and I’m torn about what I should do. I feel like I should take the opportunity for a small break and go out and do something once she goes to bed. Even if it’s just a cup of coffee alone or with a friend or two. Yet, at the same time I know I have a ton of housework and chores that I could get gone if I stayed home. And this second option has the added bonus of letting me be there for Celeste if she wakes up in the night. Not that Jess can’t take care of her — that’s not it at all — it’s just that I really enjoy being there for my daughter. Maybe I could create the best of both worlds by having a few people over for a coffee or drinks and a movie. Anyone interested?

Saturday morning Jess is also staying with Celeste. Maybe I’ll run out early that morning and photograph a bit, which I haven’t done in ages. Other than that, I’m sure I’ll stick around the house, do some cleaning, and enjoy Celeste until 11am or so. Jess is taking her on a lunch date with a few friends until about 2:30pm.

I try to invite Jess to any event that I’ll be taking the baby to. Jess is very important in Celeste’s life and I would never want to limit the time the two of them can spend together as long as I can be included too. I’m sad that Jess doesn’t share this same value. However, at the same time I fully realize that I can not dictate the choices Jess makes and have to start getting used to living in the world where I can’t see my daughter whenever I want. It’s a sad, sad world, but it is, unfortunately, my new reality. Even with that, though, I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point where I stop inviting Jess. It’s just too important to me.

After her lunch date, Celeste and I will be headed to a birthday party for Joel and Emily’s daughter which ends at 5pm. After that, I’m really not sure what Celeste and  are doing. Maybe I’ll head out to Keller and spend the night at my mom’s? Or maybe head home and have a quiet evening in? I usually like to pack the weekends with fun stuff because so much of the week is spent with just Celeste and I at home. Anyone want to have some sort of kid friendly gathering Saturday night? I can host if desired, or travel.

Sunday we’ll probably spend at my mom’s as usual. I’m not sure if Jess is coming or not. Even though it’s such a long drive to do every single week, I really like Sunday’s because my mom’s house ends up being full of people that love me and my daughter and that just makes me so happy. Again… that village thing.

And that’s it. The state of the Daniel… or at least, the future of the Daniel for the next few days. Gotta run.