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divorce

and we shout at the top of our lungs

Aug 20th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
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(I recently wrote these words to a friend going through some hard times in her marriage. I cried when I wrote them. I’m crying now rereading them. I figure they are worth sharing.)

Marriage is hard. Really hard. And children make it harder.

But, then again children are hard too.

I think anything worth keeping requires some work. The natural order of the universe is chaos. If we want to keep it, we have to KEEP it. KEEP is an ACTION word.

I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m not even offering advice in that arena because I honestly don’t know ANYTHING about ANYTHING.

But I do know this: Marriage is more than “I love you”s and sweet nothings and flowers and good times. It’s more than a handsome face and a shared paycheck. It’s more than monogamy. It’s a commitment. It’s a promise to yourself. It’s a promise to another person. It’s an agreement between two people to scream at the top of their lungs:

FUCK YOU WORLD! I don’t care what you throw at me, or how hard you make this life, or what comes my way good or bad, this person and I are sticking together, hand-in-hand, through thick and thin, to make sure that, in the end, we both make it out together.

And sometimes we have it easy. Sometimes the world is so nice to us and everything goes our way and there are no trials, no doubts, no difficulties. Then there are the rest of us.

There are plenty of reasons to end a marriage. And there are plenty of reasons to stay in one. I can certainly learn a thing or two about knowing when to call it quits, because I’m the kind of guy that never gives up on anything, and that’s not exactly the way to be. But there are two things that I am unwilling to give up on:

  1. my child(ren). Never. Ever. EVER.
  2. my promises (both to myself, and to other people).

Promises are meant to be kept until they are fulfilled or until all of those affected by the promise agree to dissolve it.

You will get through this. And, in the end you will only be stronger. Both the YOU-alone you. And the YOU-together you.

If it helps any, know that you are not at all alone. I’ve talked to lots and Lots and LOTS of Moms (and Dads) about this. Something I heard over and over again is that, at this point, right at about the one year mark of your first child, it gets rough. Lots of women (and sometimes men) think about leaving at this very moment. And all of those who didn’t have told me over and over again how glad they are that they didn’t.

I hope this doesn’t come across as preaching. Because that’s not how I mean it. I’m just trying to share what I’ve learned, in the hopes that it helps you, even just a little, get through this hard time no matter how it is that you do that.

the glass is half full

Aug 18th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
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ducks on a pond

ducks on a pond

I always so actively share the bad, the negative, and the difficult aspects of my life, that I probably leave the impression that there is no goodness or happiness to be found here. This could not be farther from the truth.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a perfectly good or a perfectly bad anything. There’s always a mixture of goods and not-so-bads and, sometimes, bads and not-so-goods. But all-in-all my life is pretty fantastic.

I have a good job.

I complain about it a lot, it takes up a lot of my time, and the work has slowly declined from “interesting and exciting” to “life-threateningly dull”.

But it’s a job. A good job that earns me lots of respect and a very decent wage. In these hard times, that’s saying a lot. And every day I get closer and closer toward self-employment.

I have a house.

I complain about it a lot, parts of it are too empty, and other parts of it are too full. It doesn’t have enough storage space, the kitchen doesn’t have enough light, and the walls that surround the kitchen aren’t as open as I’d like them to be. My yard is insane, and no matter what I do I can’t seem to keep the weeds at bay.

But, it’s a nice house. It’s mine. It’s provides shelter for Celeste and I and gives me the freedom to offer a bed for the night, or a room for the month to friends and family. My neighborhood is safe to walk in and is spotted with beautiful parks and a pool. I’m a short drive from a great number of city and state parks if I want to get even further out.

I have a nice car. A very nice car.

It’s not perfect. It’s not luxury. It costs too much. It’s not exactly what I want.

But it’s safe, it’s comfortable, it’s gets me around, it holds everything I need, and has room for 2-5 more people (depending on how much you like to squish). Plus it gets decent gas mileage and has good 4-wheel drive when needed.

I have a beautiful, smart, amazing daughter who loves me very much.

I complain about how hard it is to be a single dad, or how cranky she can get when she is being thrown back and forth from home to home with two different sets of rules and two different schedules. I complain about how much I miss her when she’s not around.

But our time together is amazing. We teach each other so much and she brings so much joy to every second I am with her. She is the brightest spot in my every day. She makes me want to be a better person and reminds me that the simple pleasures in life are often the greatest.

I have a small handful of very good friends.

I complain a lot about how people never drive to visit me. How they don’t understand what it’s like to try to kill time with a toddler because they couldn’t get their ass ready in time to be where they said they’d be when they said they’d be there. I complain about how it never seems to be fair or even and how the supposed two-way streets of friendship often seem to have traffic going in only one direction.

But… that isn’t all of my friends. There are some who call or email just to check in on me. Some that that offer to cook me dinner, even in my own home, for no reason other than that they’d like to see me. I know at least 3 moms that I communicate with on a nearly daily basis that love and care for their children in ways very similar to my own. I have great respect for them and offer as much of myself to them as I can. They offer me support and kindness and friendship and even an innocent flirt from time to time. The remind me that no one is perfect and every day is its own success and its own reward. They welcome Celeste and me into their families and often reach out to us when they feel we are too distant or that we might be in need of company. I have other friends, with and without kids, that genuinely care and regularly offer themselves into my life in various capacities. Though they may not be numerous, what they lack in quantity they surely make up for in quality.

One friend in particular, who happens to be an amazing mom of four kind, beautiful children, said this to me yesterday when I was particular upset that turned my entire day around.

Daniel, very very few people love or care as much or as deeply as you do. You are one of the most caring people I have ever come to know.

All of these words to say, my life is quite good. While, more often than not, my complaints are valid, if you should find yourself on the receiving end of my venting, after expressing a little compassion and understanding, you should probably kick me in the ass and remind me that my life really is fantastic.

(I chose this photograph because, just like my life, it is not perfect. But it’s beautiful, and full, and enjoyable just the same.)

14 long days

Jul 2nd, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
6 comments

14 long days

My inlaws called Jess two days ago to give her final dates for their trip out here. Instead of 10 days they are staying 14. Instead of driving they are flying. Instead of coming at the end of July they are coming on July 6th. They will not be renting a car. They will not be getting a hotel. Surprise!

I had half a mind to not be accomating when it comes to Celeste’s time because that’s just ridiculous. But at the same time, I want them to be a part of Celeste’s life and I don’t know how much of the “Surprise” was them changing their mind last minute, and how much of it was Jess not seeking to get dates and times soon enough.

Regardless, they’ll be here for 14 days and I won’t be seeing Celeste for most of it.

Jess and I worked out a decent plan. I get a bunch of days before and after to make up for the time when they are here. I also get two evenings throughout their stay so that it’s not so long without so much as even seeing her. And finally, I’ve got preapproval to do something similar myself in the fall so I can take Celeste to New York and Vermont for 4 to 6 days.

It’s going to be a long, hard two weeks. Thankfully, I’m lining up distractions.

The 4th of July!

I’ve got Celeste with me for five days in a row. In these five days there are three days off of work. We have some plans but, for the most part, I’m just packing very full bags and playing it all by ear.

There are tentative plans to go to a Splash Park Friday morning. There are more tentative plans to see Fireworks in Addison or possibly Carrollton on Friday night. There are fairly solid plans to see fireworks in Grapevine on Saturday night. The rest is unknown. I’m sure there will be swimming and singing and playing and book reading and sidewalk chalk — always sidewalk chalk.

My Birthday!

My Birthday is July 8th and it’s one of the days I’ve worked out to have with Celeste. So that’s extra nice, especially since I spent my last birthday without her (or anyone, actually) when Jess took her to Canada. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m doing it but, really, as long as I have Celeste there I’m doing better than I ever have before. More than likely, whatever it is, you’re invited. I rarely turn down the opportunity for good company.

Home Improvement

I’m hoping to build a headboard and put down hard flooring upstairs which Celeste is away. I’m still seeking help and arrangements for getting the flooring done. The headboard I can do myself. If I can’t do the flooring, I’ll tackle a few organization projects instead. Company both welcome and greatly apprecaited.

SPOON!

Saturday, July 11th, myself and 9 other people will be traveling to the great city of Austin, TX is order to witness live musicians calling themselves “Spoon” perform on stage at Stubb’s.

Several of my favorite people will be there with me and this promises to epic.

The Gulf Coast

The day after Spoon, as everyone else heads back to DFW myself and two good friends will travel to the Texas Gulf Coast for four days. Yes, I’ve never been. I know that’s sad. Despite claims from some that it is nothing but a swampy shithole, I’m confident that the opportunties for photographic, culinary, social, mental, and personal stimulation will be plenty. Plus, we’ve got our very own Spirit Guide.

I’ve been in swampy shitholes before and came out smiling. The greatest competition toward enjoyment will come from the same three places they usually do no matter where I am: the humidity, the bugs, and my own mind.

I don’t have any details on where we’re going other than “that way”. I don’t know where I’m staying, where I’m eating, or which spots are on the list of “must-sees”. I’m, hopefully, working all of that out over the next few days.

The worst part

One of the only truly difficult parts about being separated from Jess is being without my daughter. When all of this finally started working itself into what it is today, I knew there would come a time where I would have to go without her for much longer than I care to. Now is that time.

It makes me sad that it has to be like this. It makes me sad that in the middle of it all there might be a sad, confused little girl who wants her Daddy and can’t figure out why no one will let her see him or — worse — why he’s not coming to see her like he always does. I hope and pray that she’s not old enough to feel that this time around and that when the next time comes she might be old enough to understand.

But still, tears stream down my face as I write these words and I can’t make them stop. Because I understand the hows and whys of it all, as much as it hurts to be away from her, I can get by. In the end, though I may be sad, I’ll be okay. But it breaks my heart over and over again to think of what she might go through.

My greatest hope is that the distraction provided by her grandparents will be enough to keep her from noticing too often and that they will plan some activities for her to keep her active and entertained as opposed to sitting around avoiding the nasty Texas heat as we are so often inclined to do.

Finally, I hope that if she really gets distressed that Jess and my inlaws will find it somewhere in themselves to invite me over for a few hours in order to show my little girl that her daddy isn’t gone forever.

day one?

Apr 8th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
8 comments

(I can’t keep track of what’s supposed to be a secret anymore and what isn’t. Or maybe I just don’t care enough anymore to keep track. All I know is I hate writing in LiveJournal these days, so, this is public.)

I’ve been up since 5am, cleaning, paying bills, and doing chores. I’ve got about 15 minutes free before I have to rush to take a shower, get dressed, get Celeste up, feed her, rush her to daycare and get to work. And I’ve decided to spend them with you. Awww, ain’t that sweet.

Jess moved out this past weekend. Her place is very nice. I was worried about what kind of apartment one could find for what Jess can afford but, it’s actually quite nice and I feel very confident that Jess and Celeste will be safe there.

I got another surprise (to me, not to Jess) visit from my Father-In-Law. He helped make sure Jess was on her feet and I certainly can’t fault him for that, I’d do the same. I’m still not sure why it had to be a secret. Jess decided to go to work on Monday and he was still here and, of course, wanting to see his granddaughter. So I ended up taking Monday off of work to hang out with him and take care of Celeste. It actually wasn’t as bad as it sounds. It wasn’t great either.

I tried to keep as many people around as possible while he was here and while the move was happening but, alas, at midnight or so Saturday night he cornered me alone. I don’t mind talking to him. It’s easier than talking to Jess, actually, because he speaks his mind and he tries to understand. The only bad side is that he is arguing FOR Jess with the bias that a father SHOULD have toward his daughter. Which doesn’t really make him a very good mediator. So, thanks to that conversation my situation is now a little more difficult than it was before he came. But, it’ll all work itself in the end. Maybe even for the better. Only time will tell.

Jess leaving is bittersweet. As I said (in divorce, death, and the afterlife) getting a fresh start is something I’m looking forward to. But there is some sadness there too.

Most importantly, I’m sad about the end of our ability and means to parent Celeste together. Even with Jess and I maintaining very different schedules and me spending a lot of time alone with Celeste, there were still plenty of moments, however brief, that we parented her together. Watching her run back and forth between us with a smile on her face is something I’ll forever miss.

Being able to get even the smallest of things done around the house because there were another set of hands around to care for the baby means more than can easily be explained, too. Even though it only happened once in a while, it was enough to get by and keep things sane.

There’s also a ton of mess left behind. Bedding upstairs that she slept on for one night. Her dad’s bed in the playroom. Boxes and bags full of stuff she hasn’t picked up yet laying all over the master bedroom. A garage full of stuff that needs to be sorted out. A dresser full of clothes. The good side is that, it seems, 80% of the stuff in our master bedroom closet was hers. So, reorganizing that might even be a task I can do with Celeste’s help now.

Finally, I’m worried that we may never be able to tie up the few loose ends we have with our situation. With her in this house, every now and then we got a chance to take and take little baby steps closer to the end. With her being gone, I’m not sure we’ll ever get there. Only there has to be an end. So, I’m not sure what that will take, but I’m sure I won’t like it.

Okay, that’s way more than 15 minutes. Now I’m going to be late. Send love. And, hey, let’s hang out some time.

NOTICE: Oh and if you know of any single moms or dads who would be interested in having a very caring and super awesome roommate (ok… maybe I’m a bit biased there) who would give them an awesome deal on rent and/or pay them for live in nanny services, please have them email or call me. I’m very serious.

divorce, death, and the afterlife

Mar 25th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
6 comments

(I thought for quite some time about whether I should keep this post under my usual lock and key, filtered to only the select few. In the end, I decided it was okay to be public. The only possibly negative thing it says about Jess is that she gave up and I was willing to keep on fighting. And I don’t think that’s a secret to anyone.)

I’ve never really been a follower of Astrology — Zodiac, Chinese or otherwise, but, I can’t help but recognize the similarities between its description of me and myself.

Emotional and loving. Intuitive and imaginative. Shrewd and cautious. Protective and sympathetic. Changeable and moody. Overemotional and touchy. Clinging and unable to let go.

Divorce is something I am very not okay with. Not in general. Not for my friends. Not for my family. And certainly not for myself. Marriage is a creature unto itself. It requires nurturing, space, love, freedom, dedication, tolerance and work. And in return it provides support, security, freedom, and relief. A very fair trade in my opinion.

Divorce is not something I would have ever chosen for Jess and I. The past 3 years — at least, maybe more — have been very difficult years. Yet, for me, giving up was simply not an option. I put so much time and effort in each and every day to support my family (both chosen and blood), my wife, and my marriage. I spent every day trying to fix what was broken and enjoy what was not. I worked on new methods of communication, new balances of power, and new ways or creating space and providing freedom. When I started seeing a counselor to help reduce my frustrations, we, instead, worked on my marriage because she understood how important it was to me and how those difficulties were the primary source of my frustration. I can’t say I did everything right. I can’t say I even got close. But I know that I sacrificed more of myself than I probably should have and tried as hard as I could.

I was shocked when I learned that Jess wanted to leave me. Not because I’m the kind of guy that women don’t leave. I’m not silly enough to believe that type of person even exists. I was shocked because I had always believed that Jess shared the same dedication to our marriage that I did — and giving up simply wasn’t an option. And that, if it was an option for her, at the very least, I would have got some warning that she was considering it before she actually made a decision.

I realize now that the fact that she didn’t share that dedication might have been the reason my efforts to fix us never proved to be fruitful. Not that the problems we had were her fault and her fault alone. I’m not saying that at all. It’s just that a marriage or partnership of any kind is very much about team-work.

While we’re not all the way through this yet, I think I can see the end. It’s like we’ve been swimming upstream in a raging river, climbing rocks, dodging obstacles, and fighting the current. And finally, up ahead I can see a soft, sunny pebble beach.

Giving up has never been an option for me. But if I didn’t admit that the idea of having this come to an end was a very peaceful, comforting thought for me I’d be lying. Even under severe torture, at least in theory, suicide isn’t an option for me. Even asking for death is asking for too much. My will to survive is too strong. But if I found myself suddenly wounded, bleeding, and knowing that death was rapidly approaching, the peace and quiet and calm that would soon follow would certainly not be unwelcome. I might even die with a smile on my face despite it all.

So, in my true style, I’ve written all of this to simply say: I’m looking forward to the rest of my life. For the first time in so many years I can see a path that doesn’t end in more pain and even greater difficulty. And that brings me more comfort and peace than I can express.

In the end, I have a beautiful daughter. I have amazing friends who love and support me fully and are not afraid to call me out when they see I’ve done wrong — not because of their agendas, but because of their concern for me and our mutual goals of happiness. And I have a family (both chosen and blood) that cares for me with all of their hearts.

and what about the kitties?!

Mar 18th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
5 comments

Many of you seem to be indicating that the best solution to my housing problem is to live with my parents.

I’m beginning to see the light and am slowly starting to accept the possibility and consider it fully. The other option I’m considering is just staying where I am and letting them try to get blood out of a stone.

If I move in with my parents, there are lots of tiny problems that arise.

I’ll have to get a storage facility to put my stuff in or just sell it or burn it. Not fun but doable.

I’ll have to make trips back to the house to ensure it’s being maintained, to make repairs, and to generally play landlord. Not fun but doable.

But what about the kitties?

We have two cats. I got Toby as a kitten in 1999. He’s 10 years old and he’s been with me through a lot. Just after Jess and I got married, we decided to get, Miette together, also as a kitten. Jess is claiming no responsibility for either cat so, just like everything else, it falls on me.

My mom is very allergic to cats. It would be okay if I could keep them upstairs, but they are cats. Cats don’t like being kept anywhere. Even if I could manage to contain them, I’d have to deal with the destruction they’d perform on house while being contained. Ideally, I’d find some happy, wonderful place for them to live and then I’d miss my dear cats terribly every day there after. But where? Any ideas?

Reasons to stay?

Aside from moving in with my parents, the other ideas are not so good. So… what about just saying there and toughing it out.

If I do decide to stay put, I can refinance my house and shave off another $100. I’ve already got this mapped out and haven’t even really shopped around much. I might be able to shave off a little more on top of that.

It’s nice to have my own place. Eventually, I will be able to sell the house. If I’m still living there, I can leave it on the market, continue to make improvements, and decide what to do in the event that someone does want to buy it. I can always live with my parents as we transition from one house to another should that occur. And it will happen eventually, just probably not tomorrow. In the mean time, I can make it as livable and as happy as I want it to be and continue to seek a room mate that will actually get along with me and will work with me to make both of our lives better.

Thoughts?

this old house

Mar 18th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
17 comments

It looks like I’m getting stuck with the house (and the SUV and the credit card debt). So I’m trying to decide how best to work that out and I’m hoping that writing it out and your advice together will help me find the best solution.

(This is really not about why I’m stuck with these things or ways around that. If you’ve got something to say along those lines, let’s save that discussion for some other place. What I need here is advice assuming that I am stuck.)

THE PROBLEM

The problem is that we still owe $150k on the house. In this market, I’d be lucky if I could get $125k for it. Recent home sales in my area are going for $77/sqft (which would fetch me about $175k) but with 120 days on the market and very few actual sales despite the number of signs up in my neighborhood. As Jess and I learned a while back, they simply aren’t selling for a reasonable price due to the foreclosures. So, that leaves me $25k (or more) in the negative. That’s $25k I simply don’t have to throw at this problem. So selling the house is not an option.

I spoke to a mortgage guy. I simply don’t make enough money to qualify for TWO homes, so renting this one out at a loss and buying another, much cheaper house is not an option unless I start making more money. Recent changes in the mortgage industry keep me from using the rental income to qualify for the second home. So buying another house is out.

My “wife” is asking for child support as well. With a house 3 times bigger than little ole Celeste and I need, a car payment that’s about 50% higher than would be ideal, and credit card debt out the wazoo, I’m living on the edge of my means. Coming up with child support seems impossible. All of these things made sense when we were a team
working together to solve a problem. At two separate entities seemingly working against each other at times, it just doesn’t work.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

An apartment
I could move into my mom and dad’s house temporarily and try to rent my house. Once it rented, I could try to find an apartment for Celeste and I.

I’d probably have to rent for less than I pay in mortgage. I pay $1400/mo in mortgage stuff, plus another $600 or so in utilities — $2000 total. If I could rent my house for $1000/mo and find a cheap — I hate using that work in relation to apartments — cheap apartment for us — say $800/mo or so. I might be okay. Utilities in an apartment shouldn’t run more than $200 which means, if I’m doing my math right, I’d have $600 more in my pocket each month than I would otherwise. That’s a start.

Of course, then I’d have to live in a “cheap” apartment which is not really what I want for my daughter.

Mom and Dad
My Mom and Dad are very generous. They’ve offered Celeste and I a place to stay that would include a room for each of us, food, utilities, and everything else you could imagine (including free day care) for free. We would basically have the entire upstairs of the house they have in Keller, a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood that’s just as close to where I work as where I live now.

This would allow me to seek a renter for my house (even at a rate lower than what I pay) and use the difference to pay for child support and start building up a bank of cash to use to help qualify for a new home in the future.

Of course the downsides are not having a place of our own, having limited ability to entertain guests (dates? hahaha), and having to live under their rules. However, we see eye-to-eye on most things so I don’t see this as too big of an issue.

Room Mate
I could find a room mate. I’ve even got enough space to take in a room mate with a child. The savings there could possibly offset some or all of the child support. But finding someone I trust to live with my daughter, that I get along with, and that is willing to live where I live may not be easy. Is this you? Do you know someone?

Abandonment
It’s really a bad idea, but I want to write it down so that I cover everything. I could just walk away from the house. Just let it rot. My credit will be ruined (and probably Jess’s too) and I’ll never again qualify for a house or a car or even a credit card. But, with the amount of money I’d save, within a few years time, I might be able to save up enough to pay enough cash to be considered for something. And, if I can sneak an apartment lease in there before my credit looks too nasty, I could afford a nicer place that might be more sustainable.

YOUR THOUGHTS

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are there other options I haven’t considered? Which of these sounds the best to you?

weekend recap

Aug 18th, 2008
by Jim Reverend.
4 comments

Jess helped me move my office around Friday night trying to find a setup that’s more fitting and less wasteful. I think I may have found something that works. I’m quite happy about this as it had been a source of frustration for quite a while. The room was unusable as it was and always left in an unfinished state. The clutter alone was enough to make me cloudy headed. Now I actually have room for another person or two to work as well as seating for two or three and a place to sleep if needed. Who wants to be my first office guest?

Later that evening we watched “The Cabin” “The Ruins” (thanks Bonnie) at Justin’s place. Even if it’s the last movie you have on the shelf I don’t recommend watching it. The baby actually slept while there, after much coaxing, which was quite a nice surprise. She just needs a clean, soft surface, pillows for a barricade, and a room with limited distractions (no blinking lights, squeaking doors, or fluctuating noise levels. She can tolerate anything as long as it’s constant. Oddly enough, this is a fairly hard environment to find in many of our friend’s houses so we often have a hard time with this.

I spent early Saturday morning at the McKinney Farmer’s Market where I bought some yummy peaches that were huge and some equally gigantic tomatoes. The people there were really nice and didn’t mind my camera at all. Next weekend I may try to catch the Dallas Farmer’s Market at opening. Anyone want to join me?

Later that day Jess and I took the baby to Third Monday Trade Days just to look around. Then I came home and cleaned up my newly arranged office. That evening a couple of friends came over and we basically played Rock Band until 2:30am when I finally couldn’t keep my eyes open and opted to go to bed.

I work up at 6am Sunday morning because I forgot to turn my alarm off. Once I was up, I couldn’t get back to sleep so, after laying around for a bit, I decided I may as well get up and get something done. I cleaned my office some more, then washed Jess’ car which seemed to have not been cleaned in several years. I then straightened out my ToDo lists and did a few things in the yard.

I got a call from my brother asking if we wanted to get together, which sounded like a good idea to me. I also found out that my other brother and his wife are getting a divorce and that my two nieces will be living with my parents for the time being. While I’m glad to have my nieces around again and grateful that if they were in a hostile environment they are now getting out of it, I’m quite shaken up to think that the two of them will have a torn childhood like my brother and I did.

A bit later our friends woke up, we played a few games of Mario Kart and then they decided to go home. Jess and I got a few things done around the house and then went to see my parents, my brother, and my nephew at my Dad’s place. We had a nice lunch, then played a few hands of poker (I lost $15). We stopped at the store on our way home to pick up a few things and then watched a little TV before bed.

Now it’s Monday morning. Instead of typing this up from my office before leaving for work as I usually would, I left bright and early and stopped at a starbucks near my office to work in an effort to beat traffic a bit. I think it worked as I got here in less than an hour.

Today is Jess’ do-nothing day so I’m trying to give her as much space as possible so she can do whatever it is that she wants to do without any interruption, confusion, or stress caused by me. I have no lunch or evening plans today so, if you’ve got something (or even nothing) going on, let me know and we can do it together.

Tomorrow I have lunch plans with a few friends which should be awesome. Then my brother and I are going to the casino that night. He swears they have a craps table at this place. I think he’s full of crap (ha, get it!) but we’ll see.

I’m not taking nearly enough photos lately. Got any ideas? Want to be photographed? Let me know.