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Life: Catching Breath http://t.co/X5S1RPA

Also, my BFF totally whips your BFF’s ass.

I had a terrific night for all the wrong reasons. Epic win!

I have mad scientist eyebrows. So hot!

C: will you be number one on my playlist? Me: yeah! C: *fist pump* yessss!

Awww. I look so shameful in my office monkey suit.

Anyone want dinner plans? I don’t like cooking for one.

Offer accepted. Thanks @Mikecbapex!

I just saw a spider a little smaller than my hand. This is why I shouldn’t clean my garage alone. How do I kill it?! #screaminglikeagirl

The trouble with a box of wine is that there’s no “stop here” line on it.