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thoughts on moving, part IV: I can’t be a landlord

Jun 25th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
2 comments

The more I think about it the more I believe that being a landlord is going to be an absolute nightmare for me.

There is a big difference between buying and renting property for fun and profit, and renting a piece of property simply because you have no other way to get rid of it. The former is a perfect sound business model when done correctly and something I might try in the future. The second is a recipe for stress, frustration, and potential financial ruin.

I told the tenant to call me today and let me know if the offer we’d worked out was acceptable. I didn’t hear from him. I’m going to give him until midday tomorrow. If I hear from him by then, I’ll continue to entertain the idea of moving into an apartment now and leasing to him, but only have careful consideration of him and his situation, only if I can find a place to live I’m comfortable with, and only in such a way that my month rent is at least $500 cheaper than my mortgage. That way I have some wiggle room in all of this.

In the event that he doesn’t get back to me, I’ll try my hand in the market one more time. I’ll put my house up for sale at a fair and reasonable price based on what it should be worth and not what I can get for it thanks to all the foreclosures that recently swept through my neighborhood. If I manage to get a fair price for the house then so be it. Then I can consider buying another house in this neighborhood (or elsewhere) that is a bit smaller, probably one story, and that suits Celeste and I a little better.

And, in the event that that doesn’t work out either (which it’s highly likely that it wont) then we’ll just stay put for a few more years.

Because, really, I have no idea where Celeste and I will be in life in 2 to 3 years. She’ll be ready to start public school and I’ll certainly want to be in a house by then. I happen to already have a great house in a great neighborhood with great schools. If I happen to be somewhere else great by then, then that’s okay too.

And, if I do end up staying here, which is likely, then I’m going to make some lifestyle changes in regard to travel and employment to make my life easier and give Celeste and I more time together.

Your thoughts?

thoughts on moving, part III: being a landlord

Jun 25th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
16 comments

(All of the input you guys are providing is really helping me to weigh this out and really see all the PROs and CONs. Thank you all, again and again. You are awesome.)

It seems that the two biggest CONs to moving are:

1. Living in an apartment
2. Being a landlord

Since I’ve worked out most of what living in an apartment will entail, I’d like to consider option 2 for a bit.

Being a landlord sucks. There are risks. The tenant could leave without paying rent — especially in this economy. They could trash the place. They could be very demanding of time or full of complaints. They could be late on rent. Lots of issues.

One thing that can really help is a rental management company.

This company locates and screen tenants (including background checks), collects rents, asses late fees, and performs evictions as needed. Additionally, they ensure that all laws are followed, and that the rental property is listed in databases if the current tenant should desire to vacate. They handle all maintenance requests and often work with volume repair providers to supply a discount in costs. They are well versed in what repairs a landlord is required to cover and insures the tenant pays for those that are his responsibility (a sock stuck in a toilet causing plumbing issues, for instance). A quick Google Search find a DFW company that would cost me $630 for each new tenant, plus $120/mo. Over the course of a year that’s $2070.

If the cost of maintenance is a concern, there are also companies that provide unlimited maintenance calls and all associated labor and most parts for a set annual fee plus a per visit cost. The per visit cost is passed in whole or in part on to the tenant and some risk is removed this way.

Of course, in the end, the financial risk is still mine. Assuming the tenants aren’t malicious or careless, presumably any expense I incur for repairs is something that would have broken anyway if I had been living there.

The bottom line.

Assuming I hire a management company to keep me safe and keep hassles low, after I factor in HOA dues and all of that, given my current mortgage payment and the rough estimate for monthly rent, here’s where I come out:

I’ll lose $200/mo.

I know that sounds horrible, and it is. I might be able to negotiate or refinance a little away from that, but, for the most part, that’s where I’m at. And that assumes my tenant doesn’t skip on rent or destroy anything that wouldn’t have broken if I had been living there.

Of course, even if my apartment rents for the same amount that my mortgage is I should recover that loss in savings. Of course, that’s all a guess based on anticipated utilities, fuel costs, and toll tag fees. But, it should be a pretty accurate guess.

So, given prior estimates and this new information, in the end I’ll be saving $100-200/mo over the cost of living in my house. And I’ll be gaining 4 to 6 hours a week in time. But will have the new financial risk that comes with being a landlord. Additionally, and not minimally, I have the costs of moving not once, but twice. And finally, I have the costs involved with leaning out my belonging to fit a smaller space, and then expanding again when I eventually move back into a house.

Your thoughts?

thoughts on moving, part II: the whining game

Jun 24th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
No comments yet

The problem with moving is that if I’m not careful I’ll end up in something just as bad as where I am now, just bad in a different way.

Apartments

An Apartment (vs a Rental House) seems to make the most sense on first thought. But there are some issues.

First of all even the biggest apartments are, generally speaking, smaller than the smallest houses. In most areas you’d be hard pressed to find a house less than 1300 sq ft. And, in most areas, you’d have a hard time finding an apartment larger than 1500 sq ft. They exist. I get it. But, they are not plentiful.

I have a lot of stuff. Granted, I don’t NEED all of this stuff. But, I have it. Which means I’ll have to do something with it and get something else in exchange if I move some place smaller.

For instance, I have a king sized bed. The smaller bedrooms that often come with apartments can have trouble fitting a king sized bed in it. If it does fit, there’s rarely room left for a desk and computer too.

I have a large, square, bar height dining room table that seats 8. This is unlikely to fit in any apartment dining room.

My living room furniture will probably fit. I have a big living room now, but a lot of the space is used for walking, so there is not as much furniture.

At the very least I’ll need a smaller dining room table, and maybe a smaller bed too. I might also need a smaller desk, I may also have a few chairs to sell. And I have a second dining room table that I’ll need to get rid of. And a large outdoor picnic table.

And I’ll either need three bedrooms, a very large master, or a large living room with a conviently placed dining room.

And I’d really prefer the hard flooring. It just makes more sense. And by the time I find all of that stuff, I’m looking at an apartment in in the ghetto or a place that runs about the same as my mortgage does right now. So, it looks like I’m not actually going to save any money there, and that’s still no promise I’ll find a place.

Unless I deliberately pick a place right next to C’s daycare, I need to assume at least a 10 minute drive in Carrollton traffic. So, my 1 hour round trip becomes 20 minutes round trip, maybe 30. Which leaves me 30-40 minutes a day in time savings or 1.5 to 2 hours a week. Plus another 1.5 to 2 hours a week in work travel. Plus another 1-2 hours in other travel. So I’m still looking at 4 to 6 hours a week in time savings. Which is good.

And I’ll still get my cash savings on less toll tag usage and cheaper utility bills. $200 to $400/mo worth, I’m guessing.

Rental Houses

A quick poke here and there found a decent house for rent in Carrollton.

The rent is the same amount that I’m paying now for my mortgage. So there’s no savings there.

It’s about 15 minutes from C’s daycare, so the time savings is roughly the same as the apartment estimate.

Utility bills will be a little higher and there will be a few thises and thats I’ll have to cover that I wouldn’t in a house, so savings are less.

But, with a rental house I’m less likely to have to make my furniture and belongings smaller — certainly not to the same extent. But, at the price I’m looking to pay in this area, I’m going to have a harder time finding a place and an even harder time finding one that isn’t trashed out on the inside.

It will probably not come with a pool or a playground or any of that stuff like an apartment does either.

But we will have privacy, and safety, and comfort, and space that comes with being in a house.

Apartment vs House

I’ll consider both avenues for now, but I’m thinking an apartment just makes more sense. Also makes me a bit more versatile in the event that I find a house I want to BUY or if for some reason I need to move out quickly.

Is it worth it?

But I still have to ask the big question: is it worth it?

Let’s add it all up.

  • CON: I’ll have to be a landlord. I’ll have to deal with a tenant, and make repairs, and collect rent, and all of that. If he stops paying rent, I have to scramble to make ends meet, kick him out, clean the place, find a new tenant, etc.
  • PRO: I will save 4-6 hours in time every week. Maybe even more. It’s not huge, but it’s something. That averages out to an extra hour in every day that I see my daughter each week.
  • PRO: I will save $200-$400/mo. I will more than likely spend most of that in non-rented months at the house, travel to and from the house, maintenance contracts, and the like. But, it’s still savings.
  • POINT: My place will be too small to entertain large groups. But I rarely entertain large groups now and have plenty of friends with houses willing to do so for me should the need arise.
  • CON: I will probably have to put a lot of work and effort and money into buying new things that will work in a new, smaller place. In the end my life will be leaner, which is good, but I’ll have to bleed cash to get there. And, in the end, when I do move back to a house, I’ll more than likely want to beef things back up to fill the house in. This is wasted money and effort. But, I might get lucky and not have to change too much.
  • PRO: I will have a smaller place that’s easier to clean and cheaper to maintain.
  • CON: I will be MUCH farther from the neighbors and friends I’ve made near my house.
  • PRO: I will be closer to C’s mom, my friends in Carrollton and Lewisville, my parents, and my friends in the Keller area.
  • CON: I will no longer have a guest room. Friends from out of town, guests making a drive to visit, and my mom in upstate new york will no longer have a nice place to stay with me. Sure, there are air mattresses and all that Jazz. But it’s not the same.
  • CON: I’ll most likely end up in an apartment. Which means, at least at first, finding places and ways to play with Celeste will be more difficult. All of our old tricks (sitting on the front steps, petting the kitties, and coloring with sidewalk chalk, for instance) are likely to no longer be valid. Additionally, she’ll have to get used to a new place, a new room, a new life style, new noises, and all sorts of new things. But we’ll have eachother to get through it with.

It seems like all of the CONs can either be evened out by a PRO or can be consider a “deal with this one time and be done with it” other than the “being a landlord” bit. And there’s just no way around that one.

Thankfully this first potential tenant seems like a really nice guy. He’s willing to help me out and understands that I’d be going out on a limb for him. Hopefully that means he’ll take care of the place and not be too much trouble. Maybe, when the timing and the price is right, he’ll even buy the place.

Staying here.

Let’s not forget that staying here is still an option. The good thing about it — the best thing about it — is that nothing changes. And even if life isn’t PERFECT right this second — Celeste and I… we’re doing very well. We’re happy. We have lots of time together and a lot of the time that we do have is quality time. Even with all of the issues and commuting and what not, I’m pretty sure I get to spend more time with my daughter every given week than most dad’s do.

Help?!?

As I was telling my awesome friend Kelly earlier today, I don’t internalize stuff like this very well. I have trouble walking away from anything, and making final decisions scares the crap out of me. So… if any of you can shed some insight on this, weigh in once again, and offer any final thoughts, it’d mean a lot to me. I just want to make sure I’m making the right choice.

If I am — if finding an apartment makes the most sense — then I’ll wait until my potential tenant says go and I’ll jump in with both feet and I won’t look back. Because I know that’s the best way to do it. I just need to make sure it’s the right jump before I take it.


thoughts on moving

Jun 23rd, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
18 comments

(I’m actively seeking insight and feedback here. It’s a decision where the pros and cons seem to be equally weighted and I’m looking for even the smallest thing that one of you might have to help tip the scales.)

[This conversation has been started else where, so some of this is a cut and paste, and some of it is new information. I'm sorry if you've seen some of this before.]

I tried to rent or sell my house for so long that I just gave up and started settling in: Getting rooms defined to their best purposes, Rearranging furniture to suit me, Putting in hard flooring, Making plans for the back yard.

Now I have someone wanting to rent it.

There are two things that would make my life easier right now:

1) Being closer to C’s daycare and closer to work. This will save commute time, gas money, and toll tag bills.

2) Having a smaller place, requiring less upkeep, utilities, cleaning, and maintenance. This will save energy costs, and cleaning time.

These things are both provided for by moving to Carrollton/Lewisville.

Here are the current arguments.

Daycare

C’s current daycare is one of the best there is, we’re getting it at half price, and C’s mom and I are splitting it. That means I’m paying 25% of the real cost. Considering how expensive daycare can be, this is awesome.

If I’m willing to foot the entire, full-priced daycare bill, I could conceivably find her a daycare closer by which would save myself lots of commuting time on work from home days and a little commuting time on work from the office days.

But, I don’t know that C’s mom would drive her to “my” daycare. Which may mean that she ends up paying more to keep C in “her” daycare and then we’re both spending more than we need to. I’d still have to drive to “her” daycare every other day to get C. On top of all that, it may only piss C’s mom off to find that when before she had a 0 minute commute to pick up C, she now has to drive 60 minutes round trip to get her, at least every other day.

Switching to some other custody schedule in order to limit the pickups and drop offs only means my daughter spends MORE time in day care and I have to go LONGER without seeing her. Which is also not ideal.

Smaller is Better.

C’s bedroom is upstairs. She never sleeps in it and I keep all of her clothes in my room. My office is upstairs. But my bedroom is big enough to hold it as well. I bathe C upstairs, but I could just as easily do it downstairs. We rarely, if ever, use the upstairs balcony. There’s a gameroom upstairs that just collects dust and cat hair.

Celeste has a playroom downstairs. If it were a bedroom instead, it would serve both purposes. If I moved my office downstairs then I wouldn’t need the 3rd bedroom either, unless I had guests sleeping over.

Basically, I don’t need the upstairs on my house. At all. That means that at least 1/3 of my house is absolutely wasted and unused.

If I had a smaller place (say 1500 square feet, or even less), I’d have 1/3 less to clean, 1/3 less to heat and cool, and 1/3 less space to fix when it breaks.

Closer makes sense.

Living in Carrollton/Lewisville (from now on C/L) would take 1 hour off of my round trip commute to my mom’s house, which I make weekly. When my mom moves to Rowlett, it’ll take an hour or so off of that trip too. It would take 1 hour off of my round trip commute to work, which I make 2 or 3 times a week. It would take 45 minutes off of my round trip commute to daycare, which I do 2 or 3 times a week. It would take 15 minutes off of a trip to the grocery store. 15 minutes off of a trip to the doctor. 10 minutes off a trip to C’s doctor. In almost every case I will pay less in tolls if I have to pay tolls at all.

It brings me either closer or make no change in distance to almost every single person I know with a few very important exceptions: my neighbors.

My neighbors.

I have the world’s best neighbors. And I mean neighbors in the plural sense of the word. Multiple neighbors.

I’ve lived in many houses with my parents. I’ve lived in many apartments by myself. I’ve never had neighbors as loving and as caring as the ones I have now.

We sit and talk in our driveways. We visit one another for dinner. We’ve gone out to a lake house together. We’re making 4th of July plans together. We stay up late and drink some nights. They helped me put in flooring. We swap child care tips. They’ve offered many times over to watch Celeste as needed. They drove all the way out to my mom’s place for C’s birthday.

They are amazing people. All 6 adults. All 5 kids. And there are even more neighbors near by that I am close with and might be closer to in the future.

Am I just the luckiest guy on the planet? Or was I just not trying hard enough in the past? I have no idea. But I do know that my neighbors feel like family and leaving them, their company, and the support we offer one another isn’t something that feels good.

Conclusion?

My basic math for moving looks something like this: If I move into an apartment, I’ll save about $200/mo on “rent”, $200/mo on utilities, $200/mo on gas and toll charges, and, on average, about 5-7 hours a week in time. If I can find a house to rent instead of an apartment, I’ll save a little less. This is time and money and energy I can spend relaxing, out with friends, or growing/learning/playing with celeste.

The one compelling argument for staying is my neighbors. Yes… I could still drive up and see them. They are only 30 minutes away from where I’m planning to move. And, if where I move doesn’t work out, I’d be renting my house out, so I could always move back.

And at some point in the future my situation is bound to change. C’s daycare will end and we’ll need to move to a good school district. C’s mom and I will change custody patterns. I’ll get a different job or start working for myself. There are so many options. In that regard it almost seems silly to pack up and move everything just to solve a problem that might solve itself down the road. Then again, 3-4 years is long enough for it to make a difference.

What are your thoughts?

a time and a place

Apr 10th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
No comments yet

I’m getting there. One day at a time. That’s sort of my new mantra. Although sometimes, I have to resort to “one minute at a time”, I can get through.

ON MOVING

My neighbors are the best I’ve ever had anywhere ever. My neighborhood is quite nice and there’s always something going on and people to run into. I’m close enough to stores and shops and things that I enjoy and that fact gets better every day. Although I’m still a ways away from work, Celeste’s daycare is only about 15 minutes out of my way. And, as long as I don’t drive in rush hour, getting her to and from the house is not too bad.

Renting my house out would be a pain in the ass and a financial burden. Having to live in a rented place would also be a slight pain in the ass and, potentially, a financial burden.

I could move, but there’s no clear cut place to go. Keller makes since until my parents leave. And they’ve made it very clear that they are leaving whether I need them or not. Denton makes sense for my lifestyle. Justin (NorthWest of Keller) makes sense for affordable housing and proximity to lots of friends. Carrollton makes sense for being close to daycare and Jess. But each of these options also has a bunch of negatives. Imagine me going to work in Irving, then driving to Carrollton to get Celeste, then driving to Justin. I’d spend so much time driving being close to my friends wouldn’t matter because they’d all be in bed when I got home anyway. And working from home would be nearly impossible.

So… all of that to say I’m staying put. At least until I can sell or easily rent, I have a clear direction on where to live, and I can qualify to BUY the second house, not rent.

Which also means I’m putting in hardwood (or laminate) flooring. It’s not going to happen this weekend. So those of ou who have offered help (for which I am so grateful), I’ll let you know when. Soon though. I’m still trying to source the right flooring for me.

CLEANING IT OUT

My house is in shambles. Like, upside down, crazy messes in every corner. And I want to overhaul it all anyway. I do have a plan of attack. For the big stuff:

  1. Clean the Garage
  2. Prepare shelving in the Garage (my only real place to store anything in this house) to hold any bulk products
  3. Clean Master Bedroom Closet
  4. Clean kitchen cabinets and pantry
  5. Organize and add shelving to Laundry Room
  6. Figure out what to do with the game room (office? living? photo studio? your thoughts?)
  7. Prepare Guest Room (possible office?)
  8. Done!

For the rest of the house, I’m just going one room at a time nice and slow moving the mess away. If it’s stuff that needs to be stored, for now I’m just throwing it in the garage or closet until I get to them. There’s no point in trying to organize something half-assed when I need to overhaul it anyway.

HELP?

Having Celeste running around can make some things almost impossible. Cleaning the garage, for instance, is difficult. It’s too messy and dangerous for her to play in right now. And most of the stuff is too big for me to life while holding her. So, I can only clean it when she’s sleeping. Which means it could take a while.

I’m not really keen on asking people to clean my house for me. But, if you like hanging out and like children and wouldn’t mind providing an extra set of hands to chase Celeste around, I could surely use them. In fact, I rarely turn down the offer for company. Even with little to no notice. So, please, give me a call. I cook well and am always very gracious.

THE IMPORTANT THINGS

I’m slowly learning to re-prioritize myself. When Jess was around it was easy to know that if I wasn’t caring for Celeste then she was. So there was never any question when it came to stuff like “should I pull the weeds when I get home today or not?”. (That doesn’t mean I did it, mind you, but there was a clear indicator on whether or not I should).

These days that’s much different.

I’m learning that I’d rather have my HOA screaming at me for having the worst yard in the neighborhood and a happy, laughing, baby than to have the most beautiful lawn in the world and a kid who plays all by herself all the time, is require to play in a playpen every day instead of the real world, or who cries for her daddy and doesn’t receive his comfort.

This may seem like a simple lesson to you, but my sense of obligation and responsibility is strong. So I find myself very guilt ridden when making choices like this. But I’m figuring it out. Like I said… one day at a time.

CELESTE

My daughter is amazing. Beyond amazing. Not a day goes by that I don’t find myself in awe at how unconditionally I love her and how much she warms my heart and enriches my life. No matter what happens between Jess and I or what kind of relationship we manage to maintain, I will always be grateful to her for bringing this beautiful girl into the world.

day one?

Apr 8th, 2009
by Jim Reverend.
8 comments

(I can’t keep track of what’s supposed to be a secret anymore and what isn’t. Or maybe I just don’t care enough anymore to keep track. All I know is I hate writing in LiveJournal these days, so, this is public.)

I’ve been up since 5am, cleaning, paying bills, and doing chores. I’ve got about 15 minutes free before I have to rush to take a shower, get dressed, get Celeste up, feed her, rush her to daycare and get to work. And I’ve decided to spend them with you. Awww, ain’t that sweet.

Jess moved out this past weekend. Her place is very nice. I was worried about what kind of apartment one could find for what Jess can afford but, it’s actually quite nice and I feel very confident that Jess and Celeste will be safe there.

I got another surprise (to me, not to Jess) visit from my Father-In-Law. He helped make sure Jess was on her feet and I certainly can’t fault him for that, I’d do the same. I’m still not sure why it had to be a secret. Jess decided to go to work on Monday and he was still here and, of course, wanting to see his granddaughter. So I ended up taking Monday off of work to hang out with him and take care of Celeste. It actually wasn’t as bad as it sounds. It wasn’t great either.

I tried to keep as many people around as possible while he was here and while the move was happening but, alas, at midnight or so Saturday night he cornered me alone. I don’t mind talking to him. It’s easier than talking to Jess, actually, because he speaks his mind and he tries to understand. The only bad side is that he is arguing FOR Jess with the bias that a father SHOULD have toward his daughter. Which doesn’t really make him a very good mediator. So, thanks to that conversation my situation is now a little more difficult than it was before he came. But, it’ll all work itself in the end. Maybe even for the better. Only time will tell.

Jess leaving is bittersweet. As I said (in divorce, death, and the afterlife) getting a fresh start is something I’m looking forward to. But there is some sadness there too.

Most importantly, I’m sad about the end of our ability and means to parent Celeste together. Even with Jess and I maintaining very different schedules and me spending a lot of time alone with Celeste, there were still plenty of moments, however brief, that we parented her together. Watching her run back and forth between us with a smile on her face is something I’ll forever miss.

Being able to get even the smallest of things done around the house because there were another set of hands around to care for the baby means more than can easily be explained, too. Even though it only happened once in a while, it was enough to get by and keep things sane.

There’s also a ton of mess left behind. Bedding upstairs that she slept on for one night. Her dad’s bed in the playroom. Boxes and bags full of stuff she hasn’t picked up yet laying all over the master bedroom. A garage full of stuff that needs to be sorted out. A dresser full of clothes. The good side is that, it seems, 80% of the stuff in our master bedroom closet was hers. So, reorganizing that might even be a task I can do with Celeste’s help now.

Finally, I’m worried that we may never be able to tie up the few loose ends we have with our situation. With her in this house, every now and then we got a chance to take and take little baby steps closer to the end. With her being gone, I’m not sure we’ll ever get there. Only there has to be an end. So, I’m not sure what that will take, but I’m sure I won’t like it.

Okay, that’s way more than 15 minutes. Now I’m going to be late. Send love. And, hey, let’s hang out some time.

NOTICE: Oh and if you know of any single moms or dads who would be interested in having a very caring and super awesome roommate (ok… maybe I’m a bit biased there) who would give them an awesome deal on rent and/or pay them for live in nanny services, please have them email or call me. I’m very serious.