because a Reverend can't be wrong.
A friend of mine is decorating her apartment and wanted some of my photographs on the walls. So I made her a special ordering page with some very low prices. I figured I may as well offer the same to you as well.
I’ll leave this sale page up through the end of September. If you’d like an image that isn’t already there, send me an email and let me know and, chances are, I’ll get it added for you.
Share! Enjoy!
I think I’m a target for broken things — broken anything. From techology, to things bought in various stores, to that too-emo-for-my-age feeling that even most of my relationships are broken in some way.
I go into a Starbucks with a simple purpose: get some Caffiene before going back to work so I don’t fall asleep on the job and, while I’m at it, update my website. 15 minutes later and I’m finally online. I had to wait for Vista to “Switch Users”. Then I had to wait for it to log me in. Then I had to wait for it to get all booted up. Then I had to kill a few processes because it wasn’t coming up. Then I had to wait longer. When it finally came up I had to wait an eternity for the AT&T login page on the Starbucks wireless network to appear. It never did. I eventually gave up and slapped in my Mobile Data card. 15 minutes! So, here I am, finally. I’m so frustrated I don’t even remember what I intended to write about.
Our house has one room that’s about 10 degrees hotter than the rest. I guess it’s built wrong. I have no idea. Of course, we never really started using that room until our new home warranty was up. Even better, I’ve now selected it as my office. So, instead of trying to figure out what wrong with the ducts, I just decided to buy a window A/C. Of course, my windows (seemingly the same windows as everyone else in the world) don’t quite cooperate with the type of window mounts provided. So, my office is still 10 degrees hotter. But now, I’m $150 poorer and there’s an air conditioner taking up the floor in the corner.
I bought a water proof camera bag in order to take photos underwater while at the lake. Of course, the only sizes available are too-small for $20 and way-too-big for $120. So, I opt for way-too-big since the description says the the bag has some srt of bellows to accomodate lenses as small at 3cm. That’s a lie. A big lie. So, I have a bunch of photos that have the corners cut out of them thanks to the bag getting in the way of the shot. Didn’t really matter anyway since none of the photos came out. I have no idea why.
I upgraded the LiveJournal Crossposting script that I use on this site and on my photo blog. Of course, something changed and now, my other plugin that formats my photo posts all pretty like doesn’t work leaving the Crossposted LJ entries looking more than worthless. I’m sure I can figure out what’s wrong, but I really just don’t want to.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist. Nothing works for me. If there’s a way something can go wrong or a point that should never fail can fail, it’s happened to me in some way and, most likely, at the time when I was relying on it most.
And, of course, I’m sure this griping all seems trivial. But it’s just one more straw on an already overloaded mind burdened by what seems to be a heavier and heavier heart. I need a break.
Since the sun’s already up, I don’t have to worry about my desire to get any where before sunrise. It nice and overcast which means great things for photography opportunities today. I’m pretty sure I’m taking the route through Watertown this morning, though I’ve got no one to answer to so I might change my mind. A quick poke at various weather forecasts shows that it might actually be overcast and stormy in the places I could travel tomorrow. So, if it’s not too late, maybe I’ll take the ferry at Tobemory after all, instead of going through Barrie. Then I can see the Island and Bruce Peninsula all in one day.
If you really want to know where I’m at you should check out my Bright Kite stream. I’ll keep it updated as often as I can. I turned off the sync between it and Twitter because it was annoying some people. Ha.
Went the casino last night. I really, really, really love playing Craps. I love that it’s complicated for no good reason. I love all of the superstition around it. I love that (most) everyone at the table is rooting for the same thing. I love that, even at the cheapest table in the house, if you’re playing well, you still end up with $50 on the table at any given time to lose. I love that there is so much math involved if you want there to be, but, if you’d rather not think about it, you can still play along. I lost $100 last night. Not too bad considering I’d told myself I could lose $200 and then just decided I was tired after 3 hours. I’ve never been able to come out ahead in Craps. I don’t really have a gambler in me (though Craps is the exception). But, if I did he’d say that if I went in the game with more cash I’d stand a better chance of coming out ahead. Something more like $500 or $600.
Some time in the next two days I’ll become mostly unreachable via Mobile Phone or email and will remain that way for about 2 weeks. So, if you need anything, leave a message and wait a few days for me to get back to you. Since I use Google Reader to keep up with websites and even LiveJournal, there’s little chance I’ll miss anything I really care about. However, just to be safe, you right something important or really interesting, do me a favor and drop me an email with a link so I’ll be sure not to miss it.
It will be hard to find any solitude during these travels. I’ll be surrounded by my In-Laws and all of their family for the next two weeks while staying at a summer camp. I won’t be able to find a corner alone unless I’m willing to actually leave on my own. Of course I have no problem with this usually, but this makes me appear to be rude if I do it too often and actually makes me real, honest-to-goodness bear bait, if I sit too alone or too quietly, much to the amusement of my In-Laws. My attempts to talk Jess into going with me don’t usually work, either. Maybe I should just buy some bells for my shoes.
Regardless of all that, I’m still hoping to get some soul seeking done some how. I’ve been having a really hard time lately. Several of you have picked up on this and talked to me about it which I really appreciate. I have some amazing, selfless friends.
That’s enough for now. Think of me, and send lots of love for me to pick up when I reconnect now and then.
On Friday I’m Toronto bound. It’s about a 4 hour drive, and I have 9 hours or more to make it in (Kim is meeting me at 5pm).
These are my options:
On Saturday I’m headed just outside of Webbwood, ON. From Toronto it’s a 5 1/2 hour drive. These are my options:
A few days ago I asked for one or two word ideas for photographs. Something abstract to allow me some creativity, yet defined enough to be a challenge. Some fantastic words were provided. Oddly, almost everyone gave exactly two words. I got more words than I could possibly take in one day, so I’ve stretched this project out a bit to give myself more time to accomplish it.
These are the words I have so far. If I missed any, I’m sorry. Most of them came through Twitter and Text Messages, so they get lost easily. Please give them to me again if I did.
If you’d like to add to this, please leave a comment.
Em: Quiet. Glistening.
Justin: Ursine. Renal.
Jess: Beautiful. Carefree.
Nic: Angular. Angry.
Mary: Pricey. Steamy.
Whitney: Irreverent. Felicity.
Mario: Buxom. Penguin.
Ian: Sensual. Being.
Morgan: Hi. Dark. Bounce. Here. Why. Smile.
Sara: Tasty. Messy.
Tony: Ominous. Evil.
Part of me wants to think that I’m just lazy. But if I really look at it I start to see that really, I lack motivation and commitment. I realized this after reading a post from a friend having a similar problem.
Look at yesterday. I got up at 6:30. I got caught up online, did a little work, wrote, edited a photo, and got myself ready by 9am. I walked to breakfast then walked to work. I was there by 10 and worked until 7pm taking only 45 minutes for lunch. After work I drove to dinner. Then I took some photographs of the city, drove around a bit, and ended up at the hotel by 10pm. I went to bed reading at 11:30 and spent the time in between online. While I could certainly stand to cut back on my time online, it’s not like I’m even a little bit lazy. I do plenty of stuff. I just lack the motivation to do the things I know I should do that also tend to be time consuming or require some form of commitment.
At least for the first year or so, my goal is to take photographs of Celeste every month on or near her month birthday. For a photographer one quick and easy photoshoot at home should be no problem but, somehow, I keep putting it off. Two weeks from now she’ll be 6 months old and I still haven’t even come up with an idea for her 5 month photos. I did take her 3 month and 4 month photos but I still haven’t printed them or mailed them to anyone. The only reason they are edited is because my mother-in-law forced me to do it while they were here. Something so simple and rewarding shouldn’t be difficult to convince myself to do.
Look at all the abandoned photography projects or photo adventures. With the projects, I just keep saying I’m working on them. For the photo adventures, I always have a good excuse. I can find the time and I certainly have the energy. It must be motivation that keeps me from doing these things.
I think I actually have the opposite of motivation: anti-motivation. Maybe you could even call it inertia. I think it is fueled, in part, by a fear of commitment. These larger projects have so many aspects to them. They require planning and dedication. There are people who expect them and are waiting patiently for them. There is something in my head that clicks in all the wrong directions and pushes back on these things. I think I’m afraid of letting myself or others down so much, that I don’t even bother to get started. Give me a series of small tasks to perform today and I’m fine. Give me a larger task to accomplish over a period of time, and somehow, it never gets done.
I have great time management skills. And I’m more than capable of managing very large projects with intricate time lines and rushed due dates. I do this all day every day at my day job. But, when I get home, some how that all shuts off.
At work, the reward for accomplishing large projects on time is obvious: a paycheck and the promise of more work. However, at home, it’s harder to find motivation to make these personal commitments. Most of the people I know undertake projects that benefit themselves and possibly their immediate family. Going beyond that is rare. This isn’t a complaint at all. It’s just the way it is. But the projects I undertake are generally intended to impact more than just myself. I think that maybe the reason I find it so hard to commit to this work is because the rewards are not nearly as obvious.
So I’m looking for help. Someone to share a project with or someone with a goal of their own so we can keep each other in check. Someone offering a reward (silly or serious) for the completion of a project. Or someone to monitor and praise my progress during a project.
Here’s what I’m working on: Skins editing, summer camping trip, celeste monthly photos, wet/water shoot with model, website redesign and migration, sensual anonymity (more models and more photos), rural night photography, clean studio shots of random objects (hi tech catalog type work).
A few weeks ago I laid out a plan to help me better vary the kind of photograph I was putting out there. It certainly wasn’t simple or easy, but I felt like I could do it.
Last week doesn’t count thanks to the fact that I was out of town and without the technical means to publish a photo thanks to my stupid laptop. So let’s look at the week before that and see how well I did.
Breaking Out – This falls into Non-Landscape. If I were very lenient with myself, this might also be considered Other Portrait.
Despite the ever decreasing amounts of free time I have these days (it was bad even before the baby) I feel compelled to force myself to continue to create and explore. I think a forced schedule is the best way to accomplish this. While it doesn’t produce outstanding results every day, forcing myself to produce something — anything — often leads to more creativity, more streamlining of work, and, in the end, better work and more of it.
My Self Portrait Project is a good example of how well this works. In that two week span, I produced an image almost every single day. At least half of them are among my most popular images. Of course the other half are pretty trite and uninspired. The two sort of go hand-in-hand.
After reading Where are all the goddam photos, something in my head clicked. Not that photographers need a new way of doing things — I’d figured that out already — but that I wasn’t the only one in this same situation trying to do this same damn thing.
Every day I see Photographers making it big. And every day I see photographers loving the craft, doing what they can, and not even trying to make it. But I didn’t realize how many people there are out there in my exact same situation. And most of them aren’t photographers.
