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social interaction

Vacation, Day VII

I decided to extend my vacation through until Sunday and, in that, include Celeste as much as I could for the last few days. We got up bright and early Friday morning, did our usual good morning, potty, breakfast routine. Then we got ourselves ready and piled into the car.

Celeste in sunglasses

Celeste in sunglasses

Our first stop was for coffee and a little bit of walking at the Shops at Legacy. Celeste was very good about waiting for me at street crossings and really liked peeking in all of the windows and pointing out all the things she liked.

Next, we headed to the Dallas World Aquarium. Celeste saw so many animals and birds. I’m not sure how much of it she absorbed because there is so much to look at. I know for sure that she remembers the Aligator, the sharks, the “pink birds” (flamingos), and the Jaguar, which she continued to taunt by saying “KITTY!!! EAT!!!!”. Celeste got a little cranky toward the end as it was past her nap time.

Celeste Ponders a Jaguar

Celeste Ponders a Jaguar

Next, we stopped for a quick lunch at Cafe Express. Toward the end of our meal, a girl approached us and asked me if I’d like our photo taken together. No… not my photo with the girl, my photo with Celeste. At least that’s what I assume she meant. Maybe she did mean herself? Maybe she was someone famous? At any rate, I declined her offer, but I really have no idea why.

In new, awkward, or undefined social situations I tend to get very nervous. This presents itself by keeping me from thinking clearly and causing me to say and do things I don’t mean because I think that’s what’s expected or wanted. In this case, I’m not entirely sure why, but I declined her offer because I thought it made me seem “new” at this or as though I didn’t have many opportunities. I guess I thought that she thought that I was one of those dads who only gets to see his kids every so often due to divorce/separation. Or maybe she thought I was married but that I rarely take care of the kid on my own.

Celeste and her Shells and Cheese

Celeste and her Shells and Cheese

In order to prevent her from thinking such things I declined her offer. But I should have taken it. I would have loved a photo of Celeste and I together and taking them myself with the old “hold out your own arm” trick is never as good as someone else doing it. I’m so silly sometimes. I do silly stuff like that a lot and then regret it later. I did this the night of Day VIII too, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Next we went home for a nap, then some quick shopping at Costco, and then off to Bonnie and Justin’s house to play with their new puppies, slam our hands on arcade machine buttons, and eat some very good steak (as well as handfuls of olives and edamame for Celeste).

it takes a village

I am a strong believer that “it takes a village to raise a child”. Beyond that even, I believe it takes a village to be a well functioning, stable human being. With the exception of very recent years relative to the entirety of human history, a life of mostly solitude with only moments of social interaction has never been the norm. Even when it started to turn in that direction, there was still a strong emphasis on immediate family. Let’s face it, we humans are not meant to be hermits.

When you throw a child into the mix and then introduce our modern society, this becomes even more apparent. As a father I can tell you that even a simple act like grocery shopping is made infinitely easier and more enjoyable when done with a partner. And that neither the partner nor the activity itself is put out in any way by joining together. Yet so many of us do something as simple and required as grocery shopping entirely alone.

Last Saturday night, I got the first real experience of being surrounded by my village. I invited LOTS of people over to my home for a Spaghetti dinner. I refused to say “no” to anyone who RSVPed (until the day before when I had already bought everything and was starting to chicken out.. ha). I invited my family, I invited my friends and all of their children, and I invited single friends who were child friendly.

In the end there were 6 adults and 5 children (ages 4, 3, 2, 1 and 1). I don’t have 11 seats at my table. I don’t have 5 child-safe plates. In addition, Jess was not home so I was doing all of the cooking and preparation with Celeste on one hip because she just didn’t want to be on her own that day. This sounds like a recipe for chaos and frustration. I know. But it wasn’t. Everyone pitched in without being asked to. People watched Celeste without question when I had to handle hot liquids. The table was set and cleared… twice. The kids ate. The adults ate. There was wine and beer and fun and games and even conversation amidst all that. It was amazing. After a day that full you’d think I’d want a nice break in between the next … but I’d do it all again this weekend.

It amazing what happens when people come together to help one another and enjoy the company of each other. The most mundane tasks become interesting and the most challenging tasks become simple.

EXPLORE YOUR VILLAGE!

I challenge each and every one of you to explore your village.

Our modern society has caused our villages to be spread far and wide. Do not let this deter you. Do not be selfish enough or silly enough to believe that your village exists only in your own home.

Invite people to your home. Not for an hour or three, but for as long as they want to stay. Offer them a bed and a safe place to rest.

Invite people to a common non-exciting event like shopping, house cleaning, yard work, or play time in a park. Do not feel like you have to wait until you have something exciting to offer to invite people to.

Invite yourself into other people’s homes. Call a friend and tell them that you’re reading a book or watching TV or catching up on YouTube videos and you would rather do it with them than do it alone. Then, before you go, call another friend and bring them with you.

After you’ve done any one of these things, encourage a friend to do the same.

Pull your village in tight around you and find happiness and peace in nuturing the social nature of human beings.