Our last day was hectic. In fact, i’m writing this from the plane as we decend into DFW.
I spent 3 hours getting ready for the day, having breakfast, and packing bags. There was just too much to fit into too little of space. My mom gave Celeste a blanket, two stuffed animals, 3 sweat pant sets, and a huge box of stickers. It was just too much.
Leaving late I still managed to get o my brother’s house for a quick lunch before heading to the airport.
Our wait for the gate in Vermont wasn’t too bad. The airport was very crowded though. Our flight to Detroit wasn’t too bad either and we even managed to secure an extra seat.
However, once we landed in Detroit, we got there late. And the jet bridge was broken. And we alteady had to hurry from C24 to B18 to make our connection. The delays didn’t help.
So we ran.
Only to leave an hour and a half late anyway because of some TSA security issue with the inbound flight.
When we finally left, the flight was booked solid, Celeste fell asleep and I could not get comfortable. For 2.5 hours I tossed and turned and increased the crick in my neck. Ouch.
I can’t wait to land. 12 more minutes. It’ll be good to be home.
Yesterday was filled with fun. Perhaps one of my best days yet.
After getting ourselves ready in the morning, C and I went for a hike up Mt. Philo in order to look over the entire Champlain valley. At least that was the goal. Access tithe park was closed, however. So, we could only access the trail that criscrosses up the side of the mountain. It was steep, and rocky, and covered in mud from the rain the day before. We made it about 1/2 a mike before I needed a break. I put C down on a rock to rest and that’s when she decided she wanted no more walking (which, for her, means being carried by me). So, after a quick rest we headed back down which was really difficult thanks to all the mud. We made it though. C fell asleep on the 10 minute drive home BEFORE 11am, so I think she needed he rest.
While she slept I had a really enjoyable conversation with a friend over IM while fixing my grandfather’s computer. More than anything I was grateful for a little privacy, the first that I’d had since I left home.
When C woke up we ate lunch and then piled in the car to head to my Aunt’s house. The drive over the mountain was beautiful. We stopped at the top and I made a snow ball for C to hold. We took a couple of photos too. It was so cool to see the thick, heavy snow fresh on the evergreens at the summit, followed by a band of gold and red and orange of the deciduous trees in the valley, followed by the grey and black outlines of the mountains of New York followed by the grey, white, and blue band of sky and clouds. I only hope the photo I captured with a toddler in my other arm manages to do it some justice.
My Aunt’s house was lots of fun. Good people, good food, good everything. I only wish I had more time there.
The drive home was a bit tense. The same curvy mountain back road that was so beautiful during the day becomes quite scary at night with no light. Thankfully there was almost no water on the roads which meant the drive was easy and I didn’t have any slips.
As soon as we got home we climbed in bed. I tried to get a good night’s sleep, but I didn’t do very well.
Today we head back to Texas. I miss you all so much. You should probably start the emails and phone calls now so I’ll feel good about myself and know that I’m going to see you all very soon.
After we get up, we’ll have breakfast and pack our bags. We’ll stop in the city to mail something via UPS. Then drive to my brother’s place about an hour north. There, C will get some running around done and hoefully tire herself a hit and get rid of some of the antsies. After lunch we’ll head back tithe city, return the rental car, take a shuttle to the airport, and be headed toward Texas via Detroit.
I decided to extend my vacation through until Sunday and, in that, include Celeste as much as I could for the last few days. We got up bright and early Friday morning, did our usual good morning, potty, breakfast routine. Then we got ourselves ready and piled into the car.
Celeste in sunglasses
Our first stop was for coffee and a little bit of walking at the Shops at Legacy. Celeste was very good about waiting for me at street crossings and really liked peeking in all of the windows and pointing out all the things she liked.
Next, we headed to the Dallas World Aquarium. Celeste saw so many animals and birds. I’m not sure how much of it she absorbed because there is so much to look at. I know for sure that she remembers the Aligator, the sharks, the “pink birds” (flamingos), and the Jaguar, which she continued to taunt by saying “KITTY!!! EAT!!!!”. Celeste got a little cranky toward the end as it was past her nap time.
Celeste Ponders a Jaguar
Next, we stopped for a quick lunch at Cafe Express. Toward the end of our meal, a girl approached us and asked me if I’d like our photo taken together. No… not my photo with the girl, my photo with Celeste. At least that’s what I assume she meant. Maybe she did mean herself? Maybe she was someone famous? At any rate, I declined her offer, but I really have no idea why.
In new, awkward, or undefined social situations I tend to get very nervous. This presents itself by keeping me from thinking clearly and causing me to say and do things I don’t mean because I think that’s what’s expected or wanted. In this case, I’m not entirely sure why, but I declined her offer because I thought it made me seem “new” at this or as though I didn’t have many opportunities. I guess I thought that she thought that I was one of those dads who only gets to see his kids every so often due to divorce/separation. Or maybe she thought I was married but that I rarely take care of the kid on my own.
Celeste and her Shells and Cheese
In order to prevent her from thinking such things I declined her offer. But I should have taken it. I would have loved a photo of Celeste and I together and taking them myself with the old “hold out your own arm” trick is never as good as someone else doing it. I’m so silly sometimes. I do silly stuff like that a lot and then regret it later. I did this the night of Day VIII too, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Next we went home for a nap, then some quick shopping at Costco, and then off to Bonnie and Justin’s house to play with their new puppies, slam our hands on arcade machine buttons, and eat some very good steak (as well as handfuls of olives and edamame for Celeste).
My inlaws called Jess two days ago to give her final dates for their trip out here. Instead of 10 days they are staying 14. Instead of driving they are flying. Instead of coming at the end of July they are coming on July 6th. They will not be renting a car. They will not be getting a hotel. Surprise!
I had half a mind to not be accomating when it comes to Celeste’s time because that’s just ridiculous. But at the same time, I want them to be a part of Celeste’s life and I don’t know how much of the “Surprise” was them changing their mind last minute, and how much of it was Jess not seeking to get dates and times soon enough.
Regardless, they’ll be here for 14 days and I won’t be seeing Celeste for most of it.
Jess and I worked out a decent plan. I get a bunch of days before and after to make up for the time when they are here. I also get two evenings throughout their stay so that it’s not so long without so much as even seeing her. And finally, I’ve got preapproval to do something similar myself in the fall so I can take Celeste to New York and Vermont for 4 to 6 days.
It’s going to be a long, hard two weeks. Thankfully, I’m lining up distractions.
The 4th of July!
I’ve got Celeste with me for five days in a row. In these five days there are three days off of work. We have some plans but, for the most part, I’m just packing very full bags and playing it all by ear.
There are tentative plans to go to a Splash Park Friday morning. There are more tentative plans to see Fireworks in Addison or possibly Carrollton on Friday night. There are fairly solid plans to see fireworks in Grapevine on Saturday night. The rest is unknown. I’m sure there will be swimming and singing and playing and book reading and sidewalk chalk — always sidewalk chalk.
My Birthday!
My Birthday is July 8th and it’s one of the days I’ve worked out to have with Celeste. So that’s extra nice, especially since I spent my last birthday without her (or anyone, actually) when Jess took her to Canada. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m doing it but, really, as long as I have Celeste there I’m doing better than I ever have before. More than likely, whatever it is, you’re invited. I rarely turn down the opportunity for good company.
Home Improvement
I’m hoping to build a headboard and put down hard flooring upstairs which Celeste is away. I’m still seeking help and arrangements for getting the flooring done. The headboard I can do myself. If I can’t do the flooring, I’ll tackle a few organization projects instead. Company both welcome and greatly apprecaited.
SPOON!
Saturday, July 11th, myself and 9 other people will be traveling to the great city of Austin, TX is order to witness live musicians calling themselves “Spoon” perform on stage at Stubb’s.
Several of my favorite people will be there with me and this promises to epic.
The Gulf Coast
The day after Spoon, as everyone else heads back to DFW myself and two good friends will travel to the Texas Gulf Coast for four days. Yes, I’ve never been. I know that’s sad. Despite claims from some that it is nothing but a swampy shithole, I’m confident that the opportunties for photographic, culinary, social, mental, and personal stimulation will be plenty. Plus, we’ve got our very own Spirit Guide.
I’ve been in swampy shitholes before and came out smiling. The greatest competition toward enjoyment will come from the same three places they usually do no matter where I am: the humidity, the bugs, and my own mind.
I don’t have any details on where we’re going other than “that way”. I don’t know where I’m staying, where I’m eating, or which spots are on the list of “must-sees”. I’m, hopefully, working all of that out over the next few days.
The worst part
One of the only truly difficult parts about being separated from Jess is being without my daughter. When all of this finally started working itself into what it is today, I knew there would come a time where I would have to go without her for much longer than I care to. Now is that time.
It makes me sad that it has to be like this. It makes me sad that in the middle of it all there might be a sad, confused little girl who wants her Daddy and can’t figure out why no one will let her see him or — worse — why he’s not coming to see her like he always does. I hope and pray that she’s not old enough to feel that this time around and that when the next time comes she might be old enough to understand.
But still, tears stream down my face as I write these words and I can’t make them stop. Because I understand the hows and whys of it all, as much as it hurts to be away from her, I can get by. In the end, though I may be sad, I’ll be okay. But it breaks my heart over and over again to think of what she might go through.
My greatest hope is that the distraction provided by her grandparents will be enough to keep her from noticing too often and that they will plan some activities for her to keep her active and entertained as opposed to sitting around avoiding the nasty Texas heat as we are so often inclined to do.
Finally, I hope that if she really gets distressed that Jess and my inlaws will find it somewhere in themselves to invite me over for a few hours in order to show my little girl that her daddy isn’t gone forever.
We leave in two days with what is probably the most hectic “vacation” schedule ever. On top of that, it’ll be the first time Celeste travels anywhere more than 4 hours away. Of course, we’re crazy, so she’ll make 7 different trips to places more than 4 hours away over the course of 3 weeks. In the words of Tim Roth from the movie Four Rooms, “I haven’t got a problem. I’ve got problems. Plural.”
If everything goes as planned it will go something like this:
Thursday(7/3) morning we leave for Syracuse by plane with one connecting flight.
Friday(7/4) morning we drive 6 hours to see my family in Vermont. We’re staying at my brother’s house with his wife and my two nieces.
Saturday(7/5) we have a big get together with whatever family my Grandma manages to round up.
Sunday(7/6) afternoon we drive 6 hours back to Syracuse and meet Jess’ parents there.
Monday(7/7) morning Jess, Celeste, and Jess’ parents drive 9 hours to where her parents live. I stay in Syracuse to work. No, I’m not happy about my poor little girl making her first very lengthy car trip and adventure into another country without me, but, this is the way it works best for Jess. Otherwise, she’d have 3 days less time to spend in Canada.
Friday(7/11) morning I make the 4 hour drive to Toronto by way of Rochester, Buffalo, and, generally, taking my time taking photos. I hang out with Kim for the evening and spend time having as much fun as is allowed by law in Toronto.
Saturday(7/12) morning I make the 5 hour drive to where Jess and Celeste are.
Then we spend all most two full weeks at a summer camp on the lake in the middle of bear infested woods using an outhouse and generally lazing around and, for those who like that sort of thing, enjoying doing nothing or, for those who don’t, trying to find activities and adventures to occupy your time. Mobile phones barely work here and Internet access is unheard of so, connection to the outside world will be nearly non-existent.
Thursday(7/24) morning we make the 9 hour drive to upstate New York to see the other half of my family. We’ll either be staying in a hotel or with my Grandma, depending on who else comes up for the weekend and how well my Grandma is feeling.
Friday(7/25) we have a big get together with whatever family my mom manages to round up.
Saturday(7/26) afternoon we make the 4.5 hour drive back to Syracuse.
Sunday(7/27) morning we get on a plane back to DFW with one connecting flight.
Monday(7/28) I go back to work because I need to save my vacation time for a trip back to Canada for Christmas.
Yeah. We’re crazy. I know. I wanted to break it up into smaller trips and combine the time in New York and Vermont into one 4 day event in order to save on the travel time, but Jess gets more time in Canada this way, even if it makes the trips to see my family a little shorter and more hectic.
