“Because I said so” is one of those phrases every child hates. As an adult and now as a parent, I’m not sure I like it much more.
Celeste has a true mind of her own these days. If you tell her not to do something, she’ll do it again while giving you a stare down. If you tell her not to touch something, she’ll lick it instead. If you tell her not to lick something, she puts the whole thing in her mouth.
something to consider
All of this has led me to wonder why it is I tell her “no” in the first place. Sure, licking the oil slick that forms under the cars in some of the driveways in my neighborhood makes perfect sense. Nothing really to question there. I understand the concept of certain chemical death, and she simply does not.
But take yesterday evening for example. I had a long day, a lot of driving, and I have a sinus infection that’s really kicking my ass. So, all in all, I just didn’t (still don’t, really) feel good. We had already gone outside a few times and I knew it was likely that after a few minutes of being outside she’d just want to come back inside, yet she was asking to go again. So I said “no”. And then I considered it.
Why not? “Because I said so” isn’t good enough when I’m answering myself. “Because I don’t feel like it” is certainly more accurate, but is that really fair? In the end, I opened the door, walked the 20 feet, tops, it takes to get to my front porch, and sat down and enjoyed the evening air. In the end, it was better than being inside.
Then she decided she wanted to play in the dirt. I started to say “no” and caught myself. Why not? If she gets really dirty (and yeah, she did) she’d need a change of clothes and probably a bath. But, she could use a bath anyway and it’s not like I had planned for her to sleep in the clothes she’s wearing. Yeah, it’s a little more work for me. But I hadn’t planned on doing anything anyway. So in the end, I let her. She made little piles of dirt all over the porch that I’ll eventually sweep back into the flower beds with no harm done. She got so much dirt in her hair I had to wash it twice to get the little specs to step clinging to her head beneath her hair. But, most importantly, she loved it.
I got out of the house and got some fresh air. We both laughed so hard together as she moved piles of dirt around the porch with a fork. I really enjoyed myself, the fresh air, and her constant smile.
So, once again, through my daughter who is not even a year an a half old, I’m learning some adult lessons that make me a better, happier, freer person. In this case the lesson is this:
Sometimes our first reaction is not the best reaction. Question yourself often.
And also:
Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing, even if it will require cleanup.